this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
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You kept insisting that it's more useful to tell potential victims how to avoid being abused than to direct any advice at abusers here.
I'm not twisting it. You are refusing to see how putting the onus on a victim is blaming them for being abused.
It is not this woman's fault that she trusted her boyfriend at one time and he then turned around and accessed her car to torment her after they broke up. It's his fault for abusing her.
I don't want another "debate", but if you're genuinely trying to converse, I can answer.
I already explained that:
Do you genuinely think an abuser would read a lemmy comment about how abuse is bad and just stop?
Now about victim blaming:
Never said otherwise.
Because I'm not doing that. In fact, I wasn't even the original commenter. I was just trying to understand how we interpreted things so differently.
As I said:
That's part of what is interesting to me about this, because you read that OC and pictured it being said to the victim (which would indeed be victim blaming). On the other hand, I read that as being a warning to "us", as in the Lemmy community, and thought, "Oh yeah, good thing to keep in mind especially with how EVs can literally be controlled through an app now". And that isn't even a gender thing. To some extent, it's not even a "crazy partner" thing, just a good security practice. I don't know how OC intended it and I honestly don't care because I'm more interested in our interpretations.
And see above for why I said this:
If you don't realize how you're twisting this, intentionally or not, I don't have anything to say to you. Actually, I don't have anything to say to you anyway... As I've already said, we're on the same page on the important things, so I don't know why you got so argumentative. Clearly, neither of us like abusers and both would like women to be treated better in this world. Just, please stop assuming malice. Life isn't worth living like that.
Ok.