this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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I've never understood the furry hate. People treat it as a kink akin to someone being into taking a shit on your stomach. Except somehow worse.
It's not my thing, but I've known people who are into it and they've all been nice people. I hung out with a bunch of them one of the times I was working at a con and they were fun people to hang around when they were out of their fursuits. And yeah, I didn't quite know how to react to them when they were in the fursuit, but I just stayed friendly. That seemed to be fine with them.
It's a proxy for queerphobia.
phobia of neurodivergent people as well, I think. A lot of the things people find weird and offputting are just like... autism or something.
I'm autistic and an LGBT ally and I still find furries off-putting. I try not to judge, but in general I treat them like street proselytizers and the mentally unwell homeless: don't make eye contact and keep out of smelling range.
I'm gonna copy another comment I made on this post since it's the best thing I think I can say about it. But just know I once felt as you do and probably still would if my sister wasn't a furry.
I think the kink and fursuit parts are what most people understand about furries because that's the most signal boosted and bizarre parts about it. However, furries often have other things that really attach them to it, and the kink is a further expression of that.
For a lot of people, neurodivergence is a core feature. I struggle with speech a lot. I'm learning ASL but few people speak it. The flexibility to communicate in howls, barks and yips on occasion is extremely helpful. The furry community is full of people who just get this and will treat me very normally when I'm nonverbal. The scared kid in me still expects to be hit for disobedience, so it's incredibly healing.
Some folks who like fursuits like them because they present a barrier and literal mask that helps them feel safe and protected from bad sensory experiences in public. Some attach themselves into a fursona character and find a way to express parts of themselves they couldn't elsewhere. My sister describes her fursona as a manifestation of her inner child unburdened by abuse, and made the character female years before she worked out she was trans.
When you consider how much kink and trauma go hand in hand, how much furries lean on their identity as a way to feel safe engaging with others, and how much genuine joy people find in their fursona, the kink makes a whole lot more sense. It's less about being attracted to "rejected Disney mascots" specifically as it is about the comfort and safety a rejected Disney mascot persona can bring to people who need it. For as much as it's helpful in the outside world, it would in fact be weirder for none of that to come into the bedroom too.
That's not how that works; someone can only be described as an ally while performing allyship.