this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2026
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[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 63 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What's wrong, it's exactly what the book says:

11 And Jesus said unto them, "Verily, blessed are the rich, for they have earned their righteousness, but away with the poor, for they are a burden upon the realm. And if a stranger cometh from across the border, seek not to break bread with him, but demand first his papers and cast him out into the wilderness. For I say unto thee: Worship Mammon above all else, for Compassion yieldeth no return on investment."

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

we gotta get chatGPT to re-write the entire bible like this. Call it the King Trump edition.

[–] Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Let's add some passages about mutilating your own genitails then.

[–] RaphaelSchmitz@feddit.org 10 points 3 days ago

Uh. So. That's already in there

[–] Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Local man learns of circumcision

[–] Zink@programming.dev 1 points 2 days ago

Especially after the Fox News "40 Days and 40 Nights of Bible Release Coverage!"

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago

There are, in fact, online efforts to revise the bible to reflect post-Fifield conservative values. I'll leave it to the reader to find them by websearch.

The lolcat bible is now defunct, but the Wikipedia page has a link to the wayback machine copy.

[–] DaleGribble88@programming.dev 10 points 3 days ago

I can't wait for supply side Jesus to stop being relevant, but I'm fearful that I'm going to be left waiting anyway.