Not The Onion

22460 readers

1248 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

501

3 Cybertrucks Caught Fire After Underbody Strikes. Tesla Now Sells a $3,500 Battery Shield Upgrade. (fuelarc.com)

submitted 4 days ago by KayLeadfoot@fedia.io to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

85 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I mean, I'm glad Tesla built a fix, but it's sort of tacky to ship a $75,000+ truck and then sell the fireproofing separately.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 110 points 4 days ago (5 children)

In a functioning society, these things would have been recalled a dozen times by now. But the owner of the company is frenemies with the fucking president so we just have to live with fire bomb hazards driving on our streets

[–] KayLeadfoot@fedia.io 47 points 4 days ago

I was just thinking... last time this happened, in 2013, the NHTSA investigated 2 fires and Tesla issued a free fix.

I wonder what changed to make Tesla fear the NHTSA so little? :>

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 days ago

Wherever I'm going, I'll be there to apply the formula. I'll keep the secret intact.
It's simple arithmetic.
It's a story problem.
If a new car built by my company leaves Chicago traveling west at 60 miles per hour, and the rear differential locks up, and the car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside, does my company initiate a recall?
You take the population of vehicles in the field (A) and multiple it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average cost of an out-of-court settlement (C).
A times B times C equals X. This is what it will cost if we don't initiate a recall.
If X is greater than the cost of a recall, we recall the cars and no one gets hurt.
If X is less than the cost of a recall, then we don't recall.

Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

they are joined at the hip, via EPSTEIN

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Terrible visual, that one...

Did it have to be the hip?

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 0 points 4 days ago

And only one of them for a functional butt hole out of the deal 🤣

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Only eleven times, sadly, not an even dozen :(

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But the owner of the company is frenemies with the fucking president

Enemies? That whole feud was faked to save Tesla. People were boycotting them very successfully. Musk continues to work helping trump including again paying to help in midterms.

Unfortunately this stunt worked.

[–] KayLeadfoot@fedia.io 1 points 3 days ago

"this stunt worked" is relative.

Look at their sales chart . By comparison, Toyota moved 11-12 million.

Gravity is inevitable. 1.5 million units a year is a unsustainable failure if the stock price is $300+. They need to multiply it by something insane like 20x for the stock price to make sense.