Before that, Kiedis, now 63, had a relationship with Heather Christie, who was 22 years his junior. When the pair welcomed their son, Everly Bear, in 2007, Kiedis was 44 and his partner was 21.

In the latest episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, Williams and her co-host Joanne McNally discussed age-gap relationships, with the former I’m a Celebrity campmate saying: “Do you know who else I find really disappointing, because I really like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Anthony Kiedis.”

Seemingly referring to his romance with Vestergaard, Williams continued: “He is like 54 or something, and he is going out with a 19-year-old. And it is like, ‘Dude, what are you talking about?’”

McNally replied: “I've seen this. I just accept now that most men, all men, are drawn to – I'm going to be very careful how I say this – significantly younger women. That's all I'm going to say. It is what it is and I don't think there's any getting away from it. We judge it but it's not going to change.”

“I would have to say that it is not all men,” Williams continued. “Because I do think it is a very specific thing.”

Addressing why younger women might decide to date older men, McNally added: “And of course, people like him [Anthony Kiedis] and rockstars like him can get away with it because no 19-year-old girl wants to be going out with some old lad who is driving a Toyota Corolla around town.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The main subject of this post isn't about rape at all.

There's a lot of positive comments about men in my post history. I don't have patience for men that are unrepentantly sexist though.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The main subject of this post isn't about rape at all.

Yet you went off about it repeatedly while making it seem very different than what it was (again, according to the comments about the event).

I don't give a fuck about this guy or his band. I am not invested in the story of his life at all. I saw a thread and opted to respond to it, because I do find it ridiculous to infantilize adults as is done in your main post and the title.

You wanted to bring up rape and did so repeatedly, making me initially think that you were saying he's another wealthy "epstein class" type of celebrity, and it frustrates me that you continue to not notice or care that I and others had that (predictable) reaction. With all of the posts on fedi about the epstein files, you post about a rockstar and then start going off about rape. It's not unreasonable to think what I'd initially thought of it, based solely on what you'd said (which is all I had to go off of, because I don't know anything about this guy).

There's a lot of positive comments about men in my post history

Again, I don't browse comment histories, but if that's true, then good. I'd be glad to know that you don't generally look down on men, which was kinda the vibe I was feeling from you based on the comments which I had seen.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I responded to a thread about Kiedis confession of raping a 14 year old in his memoir. That's a different scenario than the original story, though they're connected because they're both centered on Kiedis and his penchant for pursuing women and girls much younger than him.

I mean, Kiedis has the money and power to rape children when he wants essentially. I could see how someone would classify him loosely as part of the "Epstein class".

You seem really hung up on the difference between violent, forcible rape and other kinds of rape. I'm not sure why you've directed your ire at me on this. I don't view statutory rape as less damaging just because the child may be coerced into saying yes or may think they want to have sex with an adult. Statutory rape is rape.

I'm married to a man and have a son. Maybe this should be a lesson for you to not make knee-jerk assumptions about people.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean, Kiedis has the money and power to rape children when he wants essentially. I could see how someone would classify him loosely as part of the "Epstein class".

Some of the stuff I've read about the epstein files is enough to make me feel physically sick. That is not comparable to a rockstar having sex with someone whose age he doesn't yet know, if I understand correctly what I read in that longer comment somewhere in this thread. Idk how anyone could see such a thing as comparable. That's what frustrates me.

As it is, I was already feeling bad due to a wikipedia article that I shouldn't have read recently. I don't like these intense things being brought up lightly and then feeling that I've been manipulated to have a worse reaction than I otherwise would have had. I guess part of it too is just how fucking pervasive the rape and pedophile talk is on fedi. I see that user with "Trump Fucks Kids" in basically every community, and it's very unpleasant to constantly see these things. Is it really just me? Do y'all love thinking about this constantly? I don't. I thought this thread was just gonna be about age-gaps and my opinion that they're not inherently harmful or predatory. The thread just kept going and getting worse and worse. I hate these more intense topics and that they are inescapable.

You seem really hung up on the difference between violent, forcible rape and other kinds of rape.

If you actually still don't understand, then I have no clue what to say to get you to understand.

I'm married to a man and have a son. Maybe this should be a lesson for you to not make knee-jerk assumptions about people.

I didn't say that I assumed, and it wasn't a knee-jerk reaction I just made today. It was based on the little I've seen of you on this platform. And I still barely know you and don't intend to get to know you further. I figure the types of things you talk about are like this post, which is upsetting in multiple ways, as I've said. I wish that fedi could just be chill and not so focused on violence-talk and hatred and othering. I don't know why I bother to get online and interact with people at all. Most people are like this now. I try to make a funny meme post, and while there are nice comments, there's push back. Against some of the most mundane stuff. And this thread represents what it feels like fedi wants to talk about constantly. I hate feeling awful all the time and felt like interacting for once, knowing it would just be what it became. I have no hope for this platform.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's not that I enjoy talking about these subjects - it's that I don't think they should be ignored or rug-swept as much as they are. It's infuriating that people want to turn a blind eye to the rape and subjugation of others in our society. That's how Epstein was able to move the way he did, that's how rock stars are able to continue to rape children and everyone just shrugs and says it's not a big deal, that's how the rise of misogyny is enabled yet again these days.

You dug your heels in and became incredibly nasty yourself in here. Whether it was inadvertent or not, you were defending rapists by being so pedantic about the definition of rape. You almost sounded like someone who follows the streamer Destiny ffs. Pedophilia, ephebophilia, squabbling about the differences in rapists and their victims. That kind of argument is usually used to mask predators and how they operate. When adults are preying on vulnerable people in order to victimize them, to use them for their own selfish sexual wants, it is rape.

You're right - Epstein did some next level nasty stuff to his victims. By your own admission, you don't know Kiedis. Why are you defending him if you don't know the true extent of his crimes? Isn't it enough to be sour on him for knowingly raping a 14 year old?

[–] keiko@fedia.io 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why are you defending him if you don't know the true extent of his crimes?

I never defended him or any abusive people in this thread. My qualms have always been with your word-choice. Including labeling people as pedophiles or "pedophile defenders" as insults to dismiss them. It's hurtful and harmful. It's wrong to attack people like that and also to conflate "pedophile" with "child-predator" or "child-rapist". I refuse to hate people for immutable traits like that.

Yet I see that on fedi every time I browse it. It's been bothering me for weeks and today was the day I randomly decided to say something about it. Unlike my meme posts, I didn't make a structured post about it. It's hard to care what people think of me sometimes because I see so many of you as hateful to your core (at least that's what comes across to me). I've spent lots of time trying to be thoughtful in my responses to people in various threads, trying to get people to understand that bodyshaming is unhelpful and not nice, while trying not to seem like the stereotype they're bound to ignore. Ditto the topics discussed in my own threads about computer/tech stuff. I do tend to try to choose my words carefully and take my time responding to everything as thoughtfully as possible.

This thread was different, partially because I feel like I'm in the presence of people who should be more able to understand and be more likely to be agreeable than the one with the bodyshaming stuff, while knowing that it's likely to feel like shouting at a wall. People follow the numbers, what they perceive to be majority opinions, and most people don't care to rock the boat about things. My view of most people on this platform was already so low that I realized I lose nothing at all by saying whatever feels right in this moment. I'm kinda surprised anyone agreed with me at all, based on my own experiences and what I've seen of this place over the years.

It's not that I enjoy talking about these subjects

I think you do. I think you like to be provocative with what you say and how you say it because you want to get a rise out of people and stoke conversations about it whenever possible. That is what I see of you in this thread. Nothing I say has mattered to you at all. We both have mentioned that we do not value each other's opinions and yet you persist because you like to do so.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I refuse to hate people for immutable traits like that.

I don't hate non-offending pedophiles ie people with desires for children that have never acted on them. That's a difficult hand to be dealt and I hope that they get all of the help they actually need in order to never touch a child.

If that was the angle you were coming from, you did not make that clear at all.

I think you like to be provocative with what you say and how you say it because you want to get a rise out of people and stoke conversations about it whenever possible.

Since you refuse to look at post histories, I know you're just shooting from the hip here. Most of my posts see hardly any engagement at all, but I still post. I just also happen to be stubborn. It doesn't help that I'm AUDhd as well so I come off very blunt sometimes.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I don't hate non-offending pedophiles ie people with desires for children that have never acted on them.

I don't believe that at all. Why else do you resort to using the term as an insult and conflating it with violence?

If that was the angle you were coming from, you did not make that clear at all.

That "angle" wasn't relevant until you started slinging it around as an insult.

Since you refuse to look at post histories, I know you're just shooting from the hip here.

I base my opinions of you from what I've seen of you in this thread and my faint memories of seeing you in a few other threads. I've already said this.

I just also happen to be stubborn.

And wrong. You can't expect me to believe that you don't hate non-offending pedophiles in the same thread where calling me that was your first step into insult-comments rather than responding to the message being conveyed. You can't take that back. Saying shit like 'you're a pedophile defender' is like the people who say "you're gay" (meant in a bad way) or who call everything they perceive as bad "gay". That it's in your insult-arsenal speaks to your character. This is definitely not the first time I've seen fedi users do this exact same thing. It's just that I was active this time, instead of being a passive lurker.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Saying shit like ‘you’re a pedophile defender’ is like the people who say “you’re gay”

Also WOW wtf. Are you the type to believe that the LGBT+ community should be opening our world to non-offending pedophiles?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Because we are talking about a pedophile who raped children. Kiedis.

If you are defending an offending pedophile, you have earned being called a pedophile defender. And there are people who defend pedophiles because they are one themselves.

I've actually got past comments that touch on this subject, but again, you don't care.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

From the comment explaining the guy and the event, (again, unless I'm misunderstanding) he did not initially know her age and did not assume that she was a minor. That does not seem to be a pedophile to me.

I've actually got past comments that touch on this subject

Idk what that means.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

“The next day we drove to Baton Rouge, and of course, she came with us,” Kiedis wrote. “After we got offstage, she came up to me and said, ‘I have something to tell you. My father’s the chief of police and the entire state of Louisiana is looking for me because I’ve gone missing. Oh, and besides that, I’m only 14’.”

Kiedis continued: “I wasn’t incredibly scared, because, in my somewhat deluded mind, I knew that if she told the chief of police she was in love with me, he wasn’t going to have me taken out to a field and shot, but I did want to get her the hell back home right away. So we had sex one more time.”

In 1986, Kiedis began a relationship with the actor Ione Skye, the daughter of Donovan, who was just 16 when they started dating, which meant she was a minor in the state of California. At the time, Kiedis was around 24, and the two stayed together for several years.

In 1989, in a separate incident, during the band’s Mother’s Milk tour, Kiedis was convicted of sexual battery after a show at George Mason University. According to the accusation, he exposed himself and touched his crotch to a woman’s face against her wishes.

https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/red-hot-chili-peppers-singer-anthony-kiedis-uncomfortable-truth/

This is who you are defending.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -1 points 2 days ago

I'm not defending him. I'm discussing your views and the meanings of the words you use. You conflate things which are not the same and you definitely have misplaced hate.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have past comments where I express support for non-offending pedophiles.

He said in his memoir that after he learned she was 14 years old, he "had sex" with her again.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have past comments where I express support for non-offending pedophiles.

Then they seem hollow with the other things you've said in this thread.

He said in his memoir that after he learned she was 14 years old, he "had sex" with her again.

That doesn't negate what I said, which involves his intentions.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He raped that 14 year old girl. Intentions don't matter when you're an adult taking advantage of a child.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -2 points 2 days ago

The intentions do matter, because rather than a pedophile specifically seeking out a prepubescent child, it reads like a guy who thought she was 18 and then (selfishly, yes) did it with her again after she told him. That's not comparable to child-predators who knowingly seek out children.