Yeah, it's a physically and emotionally brutal recovery process. I'm grateful I did it, but I also don't really think you can be fully prepared for it. And if your daughter has an opiate allergy be aware that makes it harder. Idk if I've ever been in more physical pain than the first week. You're exhausted, in pain, may have been off your hormones for a month and your junk looks like a wreck and doesn't work and you're terrified of if it's going to heal right. And much like how fully healing is long and slow, so is getting through the difficult part.

And yeah I get where you're coming from and assume you're pushing to help her become more functional if possible. And while I understand your fears and worries relating to your involvement, it's good that the doctors won't talk to you directly.

Idk about Montreal, but in the US I needed three letters of recommendation to get insurance to pay for surgery (surgeons need 1-3 depending): an endocrinologist/primary care physician saying I've been on hormones for at least a year, a psychiatric professional saying that I was fit to make the decision, and a therapist (I think it had to be one I hadn't seen before) to say that I'd seriously thought it through and understood what it entailed. That's about as thorough as it can and should be.

But in general by making sure she's talked to people who've been through it and with a therapist that says she's prepared for it, it should be something she can handle. If the surgeon is wrong for her there are others though it'll be harder. It's a difficult balance of speed, quality, and availability and yeah it's better for her to figure out her path and what mental work she'll need to do sooner rather than towards the end of a waitlist