She's talked to many people on line, but who knows what's real. There seem to be a lot of people who wish they had bottom surgery, but not nearly as many who actually have. She sees a psychologist regularly so I hope they will thrash this out, and it's still years out due to the process here in Canada. But I worry that makes it even more unstoppable - when she finally gets to the top of the list, she won't want to risk losing her spot; the momentum will blast past any concerns.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I'd recommend looking into the surgeon's reputation, (and have her look at their work). I actually was fortunate enough to see my surgeon's work in person beforehand, which was helpful, but absolutely not necessary.

Over on reddit there's a trans_surgeries subreddit that I used to get realistic expectations and my ex used to read it to figure out how best to support me. I can't however give it a full throated recommendation as it's absolutely where dysphoria goes to become dysmorphia. My ex would get frustrated with how many people over there passed perfectly for cis and would insist they need more FFS or something.

In general though, if your daughter is able IRL trans community is great, especially with people further along in transition. And talking to people irl and online who have been through the procedures she wants (ideally at various stages) is great.