this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2026
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Cool, refer to the sources I listed above. Yes, you are expected to fucking confront other men when you see them contributing to rape culture. If you're so disgusted by sexual violence, that should not be an issue for you.
I have to confront them all the time just to defend myself, I'm sure you could handle it.
Edit: Refer below, this guy kindly volunteered to demonstrate the exact kind of problematic behaviour I've spoken about. This is what dangerous men sound like, so be conscious that even people who are saying they don't want to do harm -- whether they mean that or not -- are still fully capable of doing harm. If someone's main concern is dissuading any liability, they're likely not very concerned about the fact that they've harmed someone.
What, the grand total of zero times? I don't go to bars or clubs, I don't go to parties where there are an appreciable number of people I don't know. The social contexts in which I do interact with people I'm not close to are either in-passing where there's no way to make that assessment, or professional, in which case we're both under considerable social constraints and such behaviour is not likely to arise even from someone with such predilections. Yes, I realise that last sentence is spoken from a position of privilege, and that behaviour does arise and is a problem for those targeted by it, but it's outside my scope of awareness and I'm not going to interrogate my coworkers on the off chance it has happened.
I'm willing to accept that maybe back in highschool I wasn't as aware of these issues and may have let an instance slide here or there, but even if I did recall such an event that was more than two decades ago, and I'm not going to hunt down someone I haven't seen in twenty years to admonish them after the fact.
Though come to think of it, there was one instance of it in an online chat within the past few years, and I did say something, which led to them basically flying off the handle and getting kicked from the server, so there's that at least. I guess I'm one for one?
D'ja read'em?
I looked at your links. No, obviously I didn't read three entire books in a couple of hours.
I'm also not saying it's not a real problem that exists, which seems to be the point you're trying to make. If it makes you feel any better I am willing to call out such behaviour if I see it happen. I just don't see it happen, because the people I regularly socialize with aren't assholes.
See, the thing is, you obviously didn't even look up "rape culture," or fully read my previous comments, because you'd know that rn you're trying to claim that you never see dominant values in society through your interactions with other men (apparently, you don't have any family).
I don't give a shit about the people who are more interested in maintaining their moral purity than actually participating in positive social change. You are primarily concerned with asserting that you're not a bad person for being complicit. Despite finding sexual violence "abhorrent," you're now actively engaging with rape culture by pretending that literally no men in your life say misogynistic shit ever or even misinformation they may genuinely not understand is harmful and are pretending that I've in any way said you have to approach random men with a prepared gotcha interview to challenge rape culture.
Yeah dude, totally, you seem like the kind of guy who is really willing to live up to his morals. Would you shut up now? I don't care about what you have to say besides, "sorry, I'll try to learn more about this."
I am asking, in good faith, what extra steps I am expected to be taking here, because yes, I am claiming that I don't associate with misogynists or people who promote such misinformation. If the actual answer is "read a bunch of books on the subject" then maybe that's what I need to do? But I find it extraordinarily unlikely that it will reveal that people I interact with are secretly misogynist in ways that I can actionably address.