this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] SanderZeldenthuis@nord.pub 102 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Reminds me the time I used to be a bicycle courier in Amsterdam and I get sent to pick up a package at a warehouse. When I get there for the pickup, there is a small front desk with a stunning receptionist. Instead of handing me a package, she gets up and says to follow her as she heads into the next room.

I follow her and walk into what I can only describe as a showroom of sex toys. Every kind of dildo and vibrator you an imagine is proudly on display along with some other devices I've never seen before. "I'll get a box. Be right back" she says and leaves the room before I can say anything more than OK.

A minute later she's back in the room. She hands me the box and says to pick out whatever I need. I'm confused and I tell her I'm just a courier here to pick up a package for "Dave" and just stares at me for a sec and then she starts laughing.

She says yeah she was told Dave was sending someone to pick up the sex toys but she misunderstood and thought Dave was sending someone to "pick out" the sex toys. She then called Dave and spoke for a min. Then she picked and packed the sex toys and gave me the box for Dave.

As you might guess, Dave was a shooting a video and due to a mixup did not have the sex toys expected for the shoot and my company got the courier call.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago

Typically Dave

[–] modus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So you turned down free dildos?

[–] SanderZeldenthuis@nord.pub 5 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Of course not! I never turn down a free dildo but as the courier these dildos were not mine to keep.

[–] modus@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago

Thank you for remaining one of the few honorable dildo couriers left in this dark world.

[–] quantumcrop@lemmy.today 2 points 18 hours ago

You are but a humble dildo shepherd.