this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026

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Is it common after a breakup to lose every mutual friend you had? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 day ago by rabber@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

61 comments fedilink hide all child comments

A year ago I broke up with my gf of 8 years after finding out she cheated on me and had been for a long time.

I quite literally have zero friends remaining at this point. Every single mutual friend has stayed friends with her and completely ghosted me. I can only suspect I've been slandered and that's why nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. I tried going to local shows as that was my community but it's completely sucked the fun out of things because it's a small city and there's always eyes on me from different corners of the room like I've done something wrong and I don't feel welcome anymore. So I've just stopped attending concerts which used to be my safe space. Standing by myself watching the band while people stare a hole in the side of my head isn't exactly enjoyable.

My lived experience has now taught me that 90% of people are cheaters, liars, and thieves, and while I know that's not reality, it's fundamentally changed the way I approach friendships. I don't open up to people anymore because I don't trust anyone anymore.

I don't think or care about my ex but the friends who ghosted me still cause daily intrusive thoughts. I don't know why I've been abandoned. No closure and no way to defend myself. I never expected how much more it hurts to lose friends than it does to lose a partner.

I miss my friends but they've proven they don't care about me so when they inevitably reach out to me there's no way I'll be able to forgive.

Probably I need to go back to therapy again but just curious if anyone has experienced similar.

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[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

IME it's always the people who loudly grandstand about this stuff who are guilty of it. Everyone who denounces cheating is horrible and awful and etc, ends up being a cheater, etc.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Yea idk I never had a relationship so I can't possibly cheat.

I don't make everything known to anyone but I don't lie either.

And last I checked I had no reall enemies.

But, I certainly don't remember doing what was done to me, or speaking what was said of my loved ones, that sparked me pushing those people away in the first place.

I guess I took it personally, dunno if I should have. My point is that this can't be assumed.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 0 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, normal people don't often think about that sort of thing unless they have a reason

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 2 points 10 hours ago

yep.