I’m semi-closeted transfeminine. I don’t go to salons, etc., usually. But I recently started going to get my eyebrows threaded/tweezed because it’s actually been pretty good bang for my buck: I like the way my face looks quite a bit more for about a month, for less money than a manicure. The place I’ve been going offers “men’s eyebrow services,” which partly made me feel welcome initially. I’ve always booked a “men’s eyebrow service,” because as a largely guy-presenting person I feel like a bit of an intruder in a space that I see as mainly for women. That said, once my butt’s in the seat I’m asking for a “more feminine look” while generally having difficulty articulating what I want.
I had someone new to me at the same salon do them yesterday, and I got home and instantly hated the way my eyebrows looked – too masculine, too much like they looked before the appointment. I thought back to how the aesthetician had been telling me about other clients of hers who are men at the start of the appointment. She seemed to only notice my purple-polished fingernails half-way through the appointment.
I’m posting because I’m in a listless, bad mood that’s spilled into another day. I’m really frustrated that I didn’t get the “like the way my face looks more” payout I was expecting. Maybe part of me is disallowing that frustration or anger under the belief that it is overblown, ultimately thwarting my processing of the experience. And I feel pretty powerless about righting the situation. I could have a go at trying to fix my eyebrows myself, but that seems risky, especially given how fresh the situation is – I’m worked up and don’t want to make things worse. I’m busy for the next 3 weeks. In 3 weeks, I think I’ll go back to an aesthetician at the same place whose work I’ve liked in the past at the same salon and explain that I'm hoping to fix things while avoiding criticism about my last appointment with someone else. (It was only due to scheduling conflicts that I didn’t see the usual person yesterday.)
I feel a little absurd for posting this. But this has bugged me far more than I expected – which is probably telling – and I've been listless. Still trying to get back to my baseline. I guess another lesson I've learned is to stick to someone whose work I like. Hugs and tips about navigating beauty appointments are welcome <3
Thank you, that really did help. It made me realize that some people "don't get it." And that's a real issue to contend with. I somehow had good luck with my one or two long hair appointments to date lol. I found the salon on a directory of queer-friendly (beauty) businesses (tbf, I'm in a big city). I said I wanted a women's hair cut. The hairdresser image-searched women's (curly, in my case) hair cuts, showed me, and I said "yes." And things worked out from there. I wish you better luck with future hair appointments, that you find a stylist that makes you feel amazing ❤️
Yes, one of the best haircuts i ever got very early on was a trans woman that i found on a website for trans hairstylists. I'm sure we are probably talking about the same site, found it for anyone interested (Strands for Trans) I fortunately live in a pretty big town as well. She was so amazing and i absolutely loved her but she disappeared right after and i never could get an appointment with her again. She was actually the reason i switched from pills under the tongue to injections. I have used the site a few times after with varying degrees of success. I found some businesses put themselves on there as trans/lgbt friendly but not all the actual stylists always seem to be on board or even know about it. So, at this point I've had five different people cut my hair sense and only two seemed to be comfortable. At least none have been hostile in any way. I have some crazy thick wavy hair. One of these days i will get the nerve to post a selfie on transjoy but I'll likely still block my face out.
Especially as a pretty "crazy thick wavy hair" person myself, I hope to see your selfie someday ❤️ (also finding someone trans- + curly-friendly = double effort 😤)