So I agree that the left indoctrinating onto left ideas is naive. My major contribution (and fight) lately is that we dont need people to repeat our ideas we need people to think for themselves, critically and scientifically. If people do that, we will become leaders ourselves and the partybwill emerge from the practical work.

Propaganda in a Leninist sense is essential to the party, and I am a partyist, but asking questions, criticizing my own thinking and others, is what made me a leftist. But in this way, I am skeptical of theory first approaches, probably because I'm so critical of myself.

It does show that leftists start out progressive libs, but that is a structural fact, not localized wrongheadedness. The ambient idealism of the left is one of our nastiest, most liberal adjacent habits. You'll notice I use the word practical a lot. Attacking the ideology itself as an individual is crank shit. The right is able to attack ideology because of the economic base they already control! This is where your theories just dont match up with Gramsci's formulation of hegemony, which the right understands better than the left.

Counter - propaganda is worthless without a party or org to carry it out, not just critical words but critical action. In order to convince people of ideas, the circumstances in which people got those ideas has to change. Thats happening now with trump and the feckless Dems, but what it is changing into is decidedly not leftist, and prob won't bring better ideas without strong left organization to win some shit. This is happening in small ways, Mamdani victory, Sanders pres campaign, George Floyd 2020, Palestine encampments, etc., but we are still in the quantitative change phase, we have a lot of work to do and running out of time to do it.

The right isnt just spreading ideas, they are buying up and getting control of every possible way that ideas spread. They own the platforms. And what do they do with them? Their ideas are wildly unpopular yet they are still winning. It isnt because their ideas are food, its because they are changing the world and making it worse. This is extremely confusing to people who lack a materialist analysis and a clear political direction, and the problem is much deeper than just condemning liberals. I'd rather soften liberal vitriol hoping a few of them dont become repulsed by sectarian leftists; rather than become a sectarian in response to workers repeating the last political ideas that made sense to them, especially when many of them not completely terrible when you remove the private property component. Unfortunately, when we do try and remove the private property piece, the question becomes, well than what will replace it, and we won't know until we build it democratically.

There's no horse and cart. There is objective reality and subjective reality and the two are intrinsically bound up together. You can use abstractions to suss them out, but that's all they are. Confusing abstractions for reality is exactly the problem we inherit from enlightenment - liberal philosophy that creates all these dumb political consequences for the left. We say, "oh we need to make a party like the Bolsheviks, look how well that worked!" And then never bother to understand that the reason the Bolshies were effective in ways that the SRs and Menshies weren't is because the Bolshies actually went and talked to people, held conferences about their findings, made plans based on their findings, took those plans back to the workers and peasants, made changes -- and then carried out those plans. The moment they stopped that, and let bureaucrats dictate how the world worked, the revolution didn't last 5 good years.

Sectarianism is structural, it's due to having our movements wiped out and having to start from scratch. Trying to blame people for what is in their brain seems to me an underdeveloped sense of how praxis functions as a object/subject relation. Contextualizing liberalism as a set of ideas and not a structural expression of economic power of the ruling class is, imo, wildly wrong headed. People have bad ideas in a bad structure. Fight the bad structure, make something new, dont be a sucker. Arguing against the ideas created by objective reality isnt putting a cart before a horse, it is the difference between the idea of how a horse and cart works, and how it actually works, having the expertise to do a good job of putting them together, and getting where we actually need to go.

And if all this makes me come off as sort of a crank, you wouldn't be the only one with that opinion. People are contradictory because conditions are contradictory.