United Kingdom

That's fair. I'm thankful for your perspective - food for thought. You're right I've not seen that section of society from that angle, though I have a sibling who went through addiction. They were a "functional addict" and were working throughout, so I'm aware of that angle, at least. That was all decades ago now, though their partner had a relapse after an operation when they were given opiate painkillers. I think you're being hard on yourself though - and I don't know your circumstances, so I don't know how you got into that mess, but although it's easy for outsiders to frame addiction as a personal failure, I think the circumstances that led to that path are often ignored. I see such problems as a systemic failure, rather than a personal one. I'm glad you got clean of the class A's, it's no small achievement, and I hope you're making progress with the rest - though I understand that Nicotine is perhaps the hardest of all to kick. I do think you have a bit of survivor bias there, though. One thing I've learnt recently, is that not everyone has the same abilities to get through - I know you've seen chancers, and you managed to get through, but I don't think it's true that everybody could have taken your path.

For myself, I'm getting help from the CAB, so we'll see where that goes. I start 1-to-1 support next week with the local "Autism Hub" which is an entirely new thing to me - I've never "been in the system" before, so it's an "interesting" learning curve. I have ups and downs - the past few days I have been far better, but I keep relapsing due to factors outside of my control - mainly caused by said system. I just need the time and space to recover properly, but I don't know if I'm going to get it. Purely "mental health" things are something this system seems hell bent on denying, so I'm expecting a continuing struggle. I have no choice but to push on.