this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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Whenever I tell someone that I wish i was shorter, they are always taken a back(being masculine presenting). I am just over 6 ft, in my country, that's a bit above average height. Its not like I am a gaint or anything but I am always aware how intimidating I look. Also, the country where I live doesn't feel like it build for people my size. Mini-van for transportation that squish my knees, ceiling that are a bit too low for my taste, showers space that's too small.

But also, I feel like a bumbling idiot (I suspect I have Dysprixa) and hate standing out so much. I may have Body dysmorphia. Its like how I would like to be seen and how I feel, are the exact opposite to how I seen. I feel small, soft, in a relationship, I would prefer to take on the "feminine " role. I feel nothing like a man.

Anyone else relates to this.

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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

6'4 cis gay man here. God, what I wouldn't give to be a foot shorter -- for one, there are the practical concerns like low basement ceilings and economy cars (the world is built for people 6ft and under); but then there's the fact that most gay men who are tops have the notion (expressly stated or heavily implied) that they want a short, skinny femboy bottom they can manhandle. Which is fine, if that's your thing. And it'd be totally fine if I were a top -- but I'm not. I want to be held and feel smol in someone's arms, which I can't really achieve. Being neither short, nor skinny, nor particularly inclined to go topping, it's hell for dating. :D

[–] Echolynx@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

the world is built for people 6ft and under

For people under 6ft and above 5'4" or so*

[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Well, yeah, it isn't built for the seriously vertically challenged either, but everyone thinks being tall is soooo much better. It really isn't -- for every high shelf or tall counter that might piss someone short off, I can point to a basement I've had to stand in, a low counter I've had to hunch over, or a vehicle I've had to sit in that pissed me off just as much if not more so, especially because this usually caused me physical pain (bumping my head, crushing my legs, and so on) -- whereas if you're too short, I imagine you just sigh and go "damnit, I need a stepladder. Again."

[–] Echolynx@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I need a stepladder to do pretty much anything in my home. Also, I get hit directly by close-range ass and pit sweat when in public/trains/escalators, so there's that. I do think the air at least is better up there.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I want to be held and feel smol in someone's arms, which I can't really achieve.

I'm straight but I felt that man. I hope you find the one.

[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

oh, I've found I don't mesh well with others for a variety of reasons, I've since given up on dating. Thanks though. The height just ticks me off because there are lots of things you can change about yourself with genuine effort, if you were wanting to go about changing yourself (for your own sake or for others); but no amount of self-help or positive thinking, nothing is ever gonna make me any shorter.

Well, unless...

... no, nevermind.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Don't give up man. I've met who I thought were the most irritating and unlovable people who are in a happy relationship. If they can find someone to love, so can you. I believe in you.

[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

no, I spent probably 10+ years of my life trying and failing to retain anyone's interest, and all I got for my effort was jerked around emotionally and used for entertainment by a handful of different people. I didn't even manage to get laid for the trouble, I'm still holding my v-card. I've finally come to accept in the past year or two that not everyone gets to do everything they want, and just quitting is less painful. I'm not getting lead on and fucked with, I'm not getting my hopes up for stupid shit -- I'm not happy about it, but I can sit and be unhappy just fine all on my own, I don't need some asswipe playing games with my head to do so. Whatever an honest, actual relationship looks like or would be, it can't possibly be worth the level of bullshit I've already endured to try and make one happen, let alone any further bullshit I'd be put through by continuing to entertain the idea. No thank you. I just thought I'd share the main reason I've resented my height for most of my adult life, though there are also more practical considerations as I've mentioned.