this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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Relationship Advice

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I tried talking about this with my girlfriend and she kind of didn't give me any input except "I understand why that makes you upset"

Long story short someone I used to be friends with started saying things like they hate me, don't want to see me if I'm around, would actively avoid me.

I initially thought it was a meme or a joke as usually people say stuff like that "I haaate this dude maaan" but jokingly, but then I found out it was real.

I first got mad at my friends for not saying anything, people don't want to take sides so they didn't want to "pick" me or them and say "this person is wrong here". I wasn't okay with someone saying that, and in addition to that I wasn't okay with people saying nothing about this situation. So I stopped talking to everyone altogether, some people DM me here and there, one person has said "other person was in the wrong"

I felt as though someone intentionally was trying to push me out of my own friend group and no one cared, therefore in my eyes it felt like people were okay for me to be pushed out.

Anyways recently people have been trying to get me to hang out again and they just say "just pretend that person isn't there"

I don't know how to cope with this situation, I had lots of fun with those people but because of my BPD I feel like they can never be my friends again. It's a feeling hard to explain but I've had it explained to me as "people with bpd struggle to see gray situations and tend to see everything in black/white". So in my mind that entire friend group is deep black.

I don't really know where this is going, is it possible to even recover this situation? btw I'm not going to bend over or make ultimatums.

I just wish that other person never existed and everything would be okay, or maybe I wish I never interacted with that person ever and this would have never happened.

I don't have the social skillset to decode this situation and my BPD is making it near impossible to not feel empty about it

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[–] fr0g@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago

You say you possibly were insensitive but that is not a reason to hate someone/not want to be around someone.

So how is that so different from your friends, who generally seem to appreciate your company, not realizing in the moment that their behaviour made you feel excluded. Just like you maybe didn't realize your behaviour made the other guy feel excluded/looked down upon?