I tried talking about this with my girlfriend and she kind of didn't give me any input except "I understand why that makes you upset"
Long story short someone I used to be friends with started saying things like they hate me, don't want to see me if I'm around, would actively avoid me.
I initially thought it was a meme or a joke as usually people say stuff like that "I haaate this dude maaan" but jokingly, but then I found out it was real.
I first got mad at my friends for not saying anything, people don't want to take sides so they didn't want to "pick" me or them and say "this person is wrong here". I wasn't okay with someone saying that, and in addition to that I wasn't okay with people saying nothing about this situation. So I stopped talking to everyone altogether, some people DM me here and there, one person has said "other person was in the wrong"
I felt as though someone intentionally was trying to push me out of my own friend group and no one cared, therefore in my eyes it felt like people were okay for me to be pushed out.
Anyways recently people have been trying to get me to hang out again and they just say "just pretend that person isn't there"
I don't know how to cope with this situation, I had lots of fun with those people but because of my BPD I feel like they can never be my friends again. It's a feeling hard to explain but I've had it explained to me as "people with bpd struggle to see gray situations and tend to see everything in black/white". So in my mind that entire friend group is deep black.
I don't really know where this is going, is it possible to even recover this situation? btw I'm not going to bend over or make ultimatums.
I just wish that other person never existed and everything would be okay, or maybe I wish I never interacted with that person ever and this would have never happened.
I don't have the social skillset to decode this situation and my BPD is making it near impossible to not feel empty about it
I had a friend group in college that included one guy who always liked to stir up drama. He was always bringing up some imagined slight, then he'd talk to each individual person and convince them, and when he had all his ducks in a row, he'd spring it on his latest victim, and they'd end up shocked that everyone was so offended, and they'd apologize, and there would be tears, and in a few days, it would be someone else.
Near the end of my senior year, he tried it on me, and I just walked away from the group. I ended my senior year still friends with a very small separate group of much cooler people, who I still speak with occasionally, decades later. I haven't spoken to any of the rest since.
Some people are sociopaths who take pleasure in knowing they can manipulate people. Learn to identify them early, and avoid them, and anyone who allows themselves to be manipulated by them.