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I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for around twenty years, and what helps me out a lot is observing nature: Be outside, watch birds and other animals, how they live. This is always comforting, the life continues and our problems are transient. With that, I try being a bit more like a bird: enjoy others' company, take some sun, cackle a bit now and then.
Anyhow whatever way you find, realize that you are loved and cherished, you are important and we need you here. If you feel it's too much to handle, please call 988 or if you are abroad https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.
If you live near a church, a mosque, or a site of prayer, I'm certain they will be willing to lend an ear with no compromise.
Whatever is going on, there is so much to see, taste and experience that eventually it will be worth it, please keep at it.