Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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I transitioned socially after starting HRT. Perfectly fine way to go about it.
I gradually changed how I presented myself publicly over around the first 9 months of HRT. I gradually changed my public facing wardrobe from full masc, to plausible deniability, to full fem. Started wearing bras at 4 months. Stared voice training, and began using the new voice in public around 1-2 months. I was out to some people, those who were close friends, and those few who asked. At 9 months my employer published the new annual personnel roster, so I used that as the moment to change my name and pronouns for everyone.
I love the comment about being a bloater. I said very similar things about myself. Worrying self-deprecation was a pre-transition coping mechanism. I liked making that kind of joke, they are funny! But HRT put a stop to it. Insulting myself as a joke no longer lands, because I don't believe it anymore. Estrogen did that. Negative self-talk is more of a symptom than a cause in my experience.
I transitioned in my 30s. I think there probably is an age component to it. I suffered two full decades of accumulated testosterone damage, and I'm at a stage of life where I'm supposed to have figured myself out. Transitioning socially in advance of HRT felt like a non-option. I imagine if I knew transition was an option in my teenage years, I probably wound have done it social first.
Do what feels right. A gradual social transition after hormones is a fine way of doing things.
The paths we take can be so different. I came out when I was almost 31 and socially transitioned completely in the following 2 months and then started HRT 4 months after that. I just couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it, haha. It also was very apparent that something changed when I went from full beard to clean shaven after having a full beard for like 10 years.
And I was scared as to how people would react, hence delaying the coming out part. Fortionately I keep good company so it was pretty much a non-issue.
I also had long hair and was clean shaven for over a decade. Would have been nice if I asked myself why I liked looking like that... but no not for a long while.
I could have been much more overt with my transition. Might have been better, who knows. But it was important to stick with what I was comfortable with.