Mental Health
Welcome
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12
Rules
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
- No promoting paid services/products.
- Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
- No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
- No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
- Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
- If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Becoming a Mod
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.
view the rest of the comments
I felt like a real adult at 27.... I can't quite explain what it was but I had a distinct feeling of like "oh I'm really like getting used to this life thing now, this is it, this is what you do". I went back to uni so I was still at uni then for what it's worth.
I think growing up and being an adult is about truly understanding that you are actually responsible for yourself, for your impact on the world, and for your community. It's so easy to make excuses and let yourself off the hook for your shitty behaviour and generally want to pretend that you're a child again.
An adult holds themselves accountable for what they do and understands that they and only they are responsible for what they do. And off the back of that, your duty towards yourself and others.
I firmly don't agree that growing up means you find everything really boring. That's being stuck in a rut (maybe). I think sometimes going through the motions of " being a responsible adult" (and of course the eviscerating consequences of capitalism) can lead you into "bed>travel>work>travel>slump>bed>travel>work>travel>slump etc" which kind of creates a rut.
Finally big changes where I felt very different in my life...? I'm now 42. Something that I can't explain distinctly happened at 40. It was two sided.
My self-esteem strengthened in a really nice way where I was like hang on a minute.... I've been working in and around my career for 20 years now.... I might actually know what I'm talking about and I don't need to be cagey about having decent ideas. So I stopped being like ' oh maybe you could do X , I might not be right 🥺' and moved into ' you probably want to do this, you could try it this way or that way'.
I have unbelievably run out of fucks in a very positive but slightly life devastating way because I absolutely won't be put up with feeling shat on.
And if people around me have a problem with me saying hey the way you treat me makes me feel a bit shat on, then they can just shuffle right the fuck out of my life!
This is a problem when it's your partner and your oldest friends but breaking patterns means your pattern gets disrupted. It's not great and I'm not pretending I haven't felt some real despair and the 2025 wasnt basically terrible to go through but I feel so much better for asserting my needs and reducing all the friction I used to put up with where I used to try and just deal with stuff instead of just going oh I don't want to do this. I'm able to feel excited about where I might be going. I also feel extremely scared about being alone a lot of the time.
So this is my current big shift.
Thanks for your sharing, I am only 23 now. I still afraid of what will happen in the future. Maybe I am pessimistic. But now I am eager for finding a job which I would die for it as my life-career.
The future is scary and confusing. I'm still pretty scared about my future too but I just keep trying to do my best and put one foot in front of the other, moving towards things that will help me and not make my life harder.
Don't worry about being pessimistic. "Good vibes only" it's such a toxic approach - I prefer neutrality for things that I find a bit emotionally overwhelming... Just describing and identifying what I need to do about it, not worrying about if I see it as good or bad.
I hope you find your career! I love working in education and it probably brings me more happiness than anything. Do you know if you want to work with people, things, ideas or something else?