this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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I was in Chess Club at school (I know, I know, quite the jock!). We played chess. Then we got bored of chess and played backgammon. And backgammon without a bet is dull, so we started gambling. Then gambling became the point of playing. So we moved on to poker.
I remember one poker hand. The deck was made up of about five different packs of cards. Jokers, black twos, one-eyed jacks, bedside queens, and suicide kings were all wild.
I ended up with a hand of five aces. Two were real aces, three were wild cards. I had to raise. I mean, how can you not raise with five aces? What is the point of playing poker if you don’t raise with five aces? Sadly, two other people also had five aces and one of them had three real aces and only two wild cards so they won the hand.
I lost £20 on that single hand and absolutely hated every single moment of playing it because somehow I knew, deep down, that I was going to lose. That was a lot of money for me back then and there were other, far better things I could have dropped it on - LPs were about £5 back then, video games £10.
But, it was a great early lesson on the ‘gotta keep going’ mindset of the gambler combined with the certainty that I was going to lose my money. I’m glad it happened, despite the short term remorse I felt immediately afterwards. I'm just not a gambler. One of the other kids from that same game went on to owe someone else £300 by the time we left school.
I've been to casinos a couple of times but took some good advice with me. Think about how much you'd be happy to spend on a night out. If you were going to an arena concert, or the theatre, or a flash sit-down meal, how much would you pay for the night? Think about a casino in the same way. You take a set amount of money which you're going to 'spend' on entertainment. Once you've lost all of that, you leave the casino. If you find youself up on the night, hurrah.
Bollocks. 99% of gamblers stop before they win big. Maximum bet every time. Go big or go home. Just need to secure that one win, then all of the sunken costs will have made sense!
Seriously though, I once bought 20 quid worth of Overwatch loot boxes during playing I felt exactly the same way playing a slot machine. I have been once in my life to a casino because a friend wanted to go. I played the slot machine for 30 quid in total. Both after the Overwatch loot boxes and the slot machine I felt exactly this same mix of anger and shame. But during it was the exact same mentality of, hey, if I just continue, I can win something I want. The realisation came after. And so, by thinking about this experience, I essentially stayed away from gambling for good. Gambling, be it loot boxes, slot machines, casinos or anything else are a cancer upon society, keeping people poor and preying off the hopes and dreams of people with problems.
The people who can least afford it are the ones with the most 'hope'. Gambling companies prey on hope.
In a side note, I love playing the 2p pushy machines you find in arcades in seaside towns. But I don't ever think I'm going to win anything.
In a side, side note, my five year old once really, really, wanted a particular toy from one of those claw machines you get in the same seaside arcades. I told him it probably wasn't going to happen but I landed the toy he wanted first time. I was a god to that boy for the rest of the day!
What kind of nonsense poker has that many wild cards
The kind of nonsense poker that 14-year olds play with a deck made of four or five different (and not necessarily complete) packs of cards. That's what kind. It was mostly for pennies and therefore silly fun. This game was different.
I played poker with a group recently and they were trying to make bs wild cards before each hand, like fives and eights are wild, and other stupid shit. I just folded every hand and somehow I’m the asshole. I didn’t complain or even comment, I just folded. Apparently it’s a fun way to play for some people, I think it’s stupid af and had no interest in participating.
It's dumb af if you like playing poker. If you like playing card games with a 52 card deck like crazy 8s or whatever, it can be fun.
The childish fun police are now en route to your location. Your crime: seriosity! Your punishment: 260 card pickup. Drop and give me 260!
No judgement, I can see how it came off that way though.
I like crazy 8s and rummy and stuff like that, but they're in a different category of fun.
Poker is a game of broken information, where you try to decode your opponent's hand based off of their actions in relation to the board state and future possibilities, and what you know of their own personal style.
Wild cards introduce RNG that throws the entire core game loop of poker out the window. People are free to enjoy it but it's extremely rare for people who play the game regularly to want wild cards in their games. I can't think of anyone in all my years of playing to be honest but I'm sure they exist. I would never play a game with cash with wild cards, what's the point? And I can't imagine wanting to play a free game with wild cards with anyone but kids.
Wild cards+cash, I might as well play craps or any other gambling game in the casino, and then at least I get the fun of watching crazy superstitious people. Poker is NOT gambling, but there is an element of chance of course.
Hope that helps clear it up.
Sure, no shade from me here. This was a game for 14-year olds who knew nothing. Given that I don't think it's too surprising we ended up with a deck of 200+ cards and... calculating... calculating... 50 wild cards. Or so. It was complete fucking chaos.
Not the point of your story, but when the hell were LPs and video games that cheap? I would think that any time that LPs were that cheap would be before video games even existed.
Early 1980s. LPs from Woolies, video games from Boots or WH Smiths (I think mostly Mastertronic titles for £2).
More than once I swapped the £1.99 price sticker on a budget game for the £9.99 price sticker on a premium game, mostly in Boots or WH Smiths in Dumfries. Fun bonus fact. This was in the days before EPOS systems and barcode readers at the checkout. Only a bored teenager on the till between me and illicit Commodore 64 glory. I do still wonder if anyone ever bought any of the cheap games for the full ten quid though.
Note: not all Mastertronic games were bad. I loved Kikstart, Finders Keepers, KP Skips Action Biker with Clumsy Colin (I had to look that one up), and The Last V8 - though I think maybe the Last V8 was in their premium £2.99 range.
I feel like we were getting scammed in the US then. I, in the US, was paying over $20 for Atari 2600 games and over $50 for some fairly early NES games. I know Mastertronic was mostly for cheap Sega games