this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2026
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Damn, had no idea how unpopular that opinion was. I expect it to be unpopular, just not universally so. still, I will die in this hill. Suggest people to check out "relationship anarchy". And I will be open about it, so absolutely no one who wants monogamous relationship ends up with me, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone.
If you're open about it ahead of time, that's not cheating. Cheating is when you go behind your partner's back with someone outside of the established relationship.
Relationships are built on trust and establishing boundaries. Cheating (as the name indicates) breaks both of these. It's completely different from an open relationship due to one missing and very important component: consent. If your partner is okay with it, have all the (safe) sex you want. But going behind a loyal partner's back and breaking their trust is of course going to hurt them.
Even if they would have been okay with an open relationship, you not asking beforehand will have them wondering why you hid it from them, if they did something wrong, if they're not good enough for you, if you ever loved them at all, and what else you might be doing behind their back. Your betrayal will have destroyed their trust in you, and rebuilding the relationship will be an uphill battle if it's even possible at all.
me and my partner are open about who goes on dates with whom. not for a sense of control, or even trust, just because we like each other and are interested in each other's lives. And if they completely forget to tell me, not a big deal. she is not my property, I'm just happy to share time with her whenever she wants to be with me.
Just like friends, you don't tell your friends when you hang out with another friend and what you do with them. you might if it is relevant to the conversation or they might care. but witholding that information isn't lying by omission.
all those rules you are bringing up, aren't rules you and your partner decided, those are default social rules enforced by religions and the state and comes from medieval property laws. you should sit with your partner and decide what your relationship should look like. even if neither of you want other partners, having that conversation and critically questioning monogamy would be a healthy conversation.
I agree with you that societal rules are mostly arbitrary bullshit. Communication and consent are the important things. Your relationship should work the way its participants all agree on.
You might want to edit your original post though. You're probably getting downvoted so heavily because without that context it sounds like you were cheating on an unknowing partner and couldn't see any problem with it.
I still think that "cheating" is not a big deal. I've never cheated in my monogamous relationships, but still, although saying that is just bullshit virtue signaling. I think my opinions should have the same weight even if I was a cheating whore.
I actually appreciate the engagement, I'm not a troll, and don't try to rage bait. but it resulted in quite a lot of fruitful and interesting conversations.