this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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every time someone whips out a proverb, I just reply with this one.
It's funny seeing them looking it up
Especially good when you explain that Oholibah is Jerusalem and it's a metaphor for how the Israelites whored themselves out against G-d and continually disregard the Lord's commands. Ezekial is saying, in the most baller ass way, "Israel, y'all a bunch of ho bags, and the Lord has/will let y'all get decimated by the Babylonians and Chaldeans. So, stop being bad" It's a really interesting prophetical book to read.
Are you spelling God wrong on purpose for some reason?
In this metaphor, what does the donkey dick and horse cum represent?
For whatever reason I took "emissions like a horse" as someone who farts like a horse. I have to say horse cum makes way more sense.
There's a whole chapter about cum in the bible. Rules about what to do when you cum on your neighbor's goat, what to do if you someone cums on you. Basically the whole thing is part of the tabernacle racket. Pretty much any time someone cums they have to bring birds to the tabernacle to cut in half and set fire to. Probably written by a bird seller if we're being honest with ourselves here.
I…. Don’t believe you. Lmao. Either that or sky daddy’s book is way more wild than I’ve ever considered
Genesis 38:9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not belong to him; so whenever he would sleep with his brother's wife, he would spill his seed on the ground so that he would not produce offspring for his brother.
Onan had biblical pull out game
You really need to read the Song of Soloman. It's basically a dirty love poem.
"Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins."
"This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes."
" I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour."
Now I'm imagining you lusting after horse farts.
Dick
Right.
correct, that is how you refer to these books in religious studies
Those prophetical books tend to have been rewritten to make them prophetical in retrospect, so it does have that element.
I believe it was King Josiah, ~600BCE, who compiled the books and had them lightly edited into a History of the Kingdom kinda deal. The whole theme of the Kingdom of Judea being the Rightful Leader Of The Tribes really gives it away. There's a lot of convenient propaganda.
The books that were "rewritten" were the kings of Israel were ranked according to adherence to Deuteronomy Law. The prophetical books remained untouched, I believe. At a quick glance at my books, I don't see anything about rewriting prophecy. Would you mind sharing your knowledge?
Sorry, it's been too long. I could be full of shit anyway :P
It might be more a case of selecting than editing the canon anyway.
I'M SO SORRY!!! I'M DUMB. I think I understand where you're coming from. Referring to King Josiah's reign in which Samaria was pretty much excluded further, which inevitability led to some bad tensions. He compiled the books into the official canon and told Samaria to basically eat it lol. Every great king in the bible is terrible lmao. Love it.
edit: I was narrow mindedly, only considering the offical Hebrew Bible perspective, whereas you were considering the broader Judaism that was prevelant in Samaria. early-early Judaism is so wild
yeah but it’s parable. so like… ?