this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Toughest battles can be interpreted in many ways, all qualify.

What are the toughest battles you have fought or are fighting?

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[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 61 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

My mom died last week, way too young, of cancer. Her cancer had been on and off for years but last Christmas it started again. She got worse and 3 weeks ago she got the news that there is no more treatment. About a week, maybe less she got so confused that we couldn't talk anymore and a week later she died.

Now instead of mourning I have to manage her estate, organize the funeral and coordinate family. All while I constantly want to ask my mom for advice.

[–] HeroicBillyBishop@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Please accept my condolences

I lost my mother 10 years ago, too young, to cancer

Grief becomes less sharp over time

You will never stop missing her

I hope we meet them all again

Once we cross the rainbow bridge

[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 7 points 2 days ago

Thank you. I don't personally believe in an afterlife but I will always keep her alive in my memories. And I know it will get better but unfortunately it will take time. But that is what you get for loving someone.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Goddamn. I'm sorry for your loss... Stay strong, I'm sure your mom would be proud of you handling all of this.

[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 5 points 2 days ago

I am sure she would. I just wish she could tell me. But that's the wish I can't have. Not with all the money in the world.

[–] Bougie_Birdie@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is never easy, and it's especially more difficult when you have the responsibility of managing your loved ones' estate.

My mom lost her mom a few months ago. She was the executor of her estate too, and she also lamented that she never got the time or space to mourn. My relationship with my grandmother was complicated, for me the hardest part was knowing that I'll be doing the same for my mom someday, probably sooner than I'd like.

I tried to help her through it, but she wouldn't really let me. I think she felt that cutting through all the red tape and working through family stuff gave her something to keep her occupied, although it was clear that it wasn't easy. She's finally starting to make the time to mourn now, and I know that someday you'll get a chance to too.

Anyway, I'm not much of a mom, but if you need help, advice, or someone to send you a hug, I'm here for you

[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 2 points 2 days ago

Thank you for your kind words. I am not alone in this but some responsibilities are just my own. That is stressful and frustrating. I know it will get better but right now it's not good at all. It's all wrong.

Thank you for your kind offer for support. Unfortunately I don't know what I need at this time. I am glad though that I am not in short supply of hugs and support. I am only struggling to find out how to utilize the help.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through that. My mom died over twenty years ago, when I was twelve (so I didn’t have any estate management responsibilities), and it’s sometimes difficult to deal with wanting to ask her advice or wanting to have a person whose first priority was me, irrespective of our relationship (I know not all mothers are like that, but mine was, and my much older sisters and their friends agree, so it’s not just kid-glasses. They also readily share unpleasant aspects of her personality, so it’s also not a wariness to speak ill of the dead).

It does get easier, and you learn to depend on yourself, any siblings or old friends who remember her and other supportive friends who have been through similar situations.

[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 4 points 2 days ago

Thank you for sharing this. I know it will get better but right now it is a horrible, no good situation. I have family that helps me but still it get overwhelming at times.