Ask Lemmy

Two approaches that basically amount to the same thing:

1. Join some sort of organized activity.
2. Force yourself to be social.

About the latter: In early 2007 I realized that my life was pretty lacking at the age of 24, mostly stemming from the fact that I enjoyed solitude a bit too much. Sure, people would come around from time to time (I lived Ina collective), but beyond that not much was happening.

So I decided that I would be more outgoing, in the literal sense. Every day I would do something, anything, in an effort to be the "instigator" for anything social. This could be pretty much anything from visiting someone I knew across town, to just phoning someone up to hang out.

The collective nature of my housing situation usually meant that I happened to be there when a party happened. However, after a month of just trying to be more outgoing I was actively invited places. This was all new to me. Suddenly people were phoning me to see if I wanted to do something.

I kept at it for a month. It was fucking exhausting. But it proved to me that it doesn't really take much effort - all you have to do is to reach out.

In retrospect I think doing it every day is kind of extreme, at least for my personality type. But my anecdotal evidence stands clear: make an effort, take the initiative, and things will happen organically.