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Dont be afraid of silence. Very cool people will allow a silent pause and not feel the need to say anything. Awkward people get anxious about the silence and become visibly uncomfortable.
It's cool, just eat a couple bites and take a sip, nothing wrong with not saying anything if nothing comes to mind that moment.
The problem is I'm cool with total silence all the time and not many people are into that, people seem to like to talk.
Ha me too, and yes people like to talk so they like people who listen 😀
There is of course skill to listening and giving follow up questions, but i think the key is to he comfortable.
If you're stressed as introvert thiking "how many people are around, i wonder anybody is looking at me, this girl is cute i wonder if she wants to hook up, and does she want to hook up with me? Oh no she knows now I'm nervous am i biting my lip again? . . . "
Then yeah it's gonna be hard to listen and ask followup questions, but if you can relax a little it's not too hard.
One thing for me is i am mortified at the thought of asking a personal question and getting pushback. But if you listen to someone and they say "so i had to go the doctor this morning." Ask them "oh what did you go to the doctor for?". They'll usually tell you, "well my knee has been hurting and then they said . . . " If it's something really personal they don't want to talk about they'll usually say "well it's a bit oersonal but long story short . . ."
Important thing to remember is that if anyone is chatting with you in the first place, they want you to like them, and if you listen and act engaged that's even better. People aren't looking for ways to shit on you like it's high school all over again, and if they do, they just got something going on at home or at work it's not about you actually.
you just walk away, you don't have to see them in school tomorrow, if they were in any way unpleasant to you.
Thank you this is helpful.
Im glad thanks for reading. Idk if this is helpful too but then i turned 35 found a life partner and stopped trying to socialize lmao. I guess i say that to hopefully ease your anxiety about potentially having to do this forever.
I still go out for work event like once a month just a beer or two and go home, which isn't bad at all.
but yeah i just dont like socializing lmao -- still, it's necessary as a human especially in your 20s, just my perspective.