this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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No, men are upset that there's nothing they can do to assuage that fear. Imagine if half the world thinks you're a grenade with a faulty spoon, and there's nothing you can do to show that you have had your gunpowder removed and cannot explode. You're just resigned that you will always be viewed as a threat even though you stay far away in public, don't talk, keep eyes down, ear buds in, stay at home and hardly leave the house. What more can we expect from them? They know some men are bad, just like some women are bad. But no one told men what to do, other than to believe women when they say things, and many women said don't approach, they don't need men, they are independent and equal.
What do you believe the average Joe sitting in his house as a hermit should do to fix women being afraid of him when he leaves the house? Genuine question. I don't see the solution.
Following your example to its logical conclusion.
There is something we can do. We can hold the other grenades accountable for their explosive nature. Something that has traditionally not been done. Which has led to the situation as it stands now. The company line has always been grenades explode, that's just their nature.
We've been indoctrinated into believing that if we step in and tell a man to back off from harassing a woman that we are "cock blocking" them and that is impolite. It's not and men aren't entitled to being allowed to talk to women just because they want to.
Assuming I'm one of these hypothetical men that you want to do that, what exactly did I fail to do? You've forgotten that men have also been told they don't need a man's assistance, they are independent and equal. Those are conflicting with being told to believe women when they say things, but don't believe them situationally, and we must be psychically aware of when we're supposed to act vs not act.
So what did I do wrong that warrants me being assumed to have failed at doing? If I can do better I would, I just don't see what I missed.
There’s nothing men can do to assuage that fear? Are you serious?
Be kind. Be gentle. Get involved in your communities. Get to know your neighbors. Volunteer. Be a known and safe presence for your peers. Be engaged in your hobbies and share your knowledge with others. Live your life with honesty and integrity.
I love men and I love the men in my life. Men can be great. Throwing your hands up and whining that women haven’t told you what to do to be a good person so you simply won’t try is acting like a child.
I do all those things though. What else can I do? You love the men in your life, but you fear me, the strange man you don't know. And I do everything you think a good man should do. You're still afraid of me. I don't know what you want from me? Do you want me to kill myself or something? I feel like I'm being gaslit.
At some point you have to realize your making assumptions about everyone and you're just as biased and flawed as everyone else and you are only seeing through a keyhole.
You think you've thought this all through and I promise you haven't. If you have you can tell me one objective fact that supports your stance. Else you're just telling me you're irrationally afraid and cannot articulate why. Because your fight or flight gets triggered when sense of identity gets challenged. It feels like someone if coming at you with a knife. That's where hard internal questions need to be asked.
Not according to your original comment.
It's not women's fault that they make moves to protect themselves when out in public. ** It's not a personal attack on you that women don't want to be raped or assaulted.** Just because a woman may opt to ride with a female driver doesn't mean that they refuse to interact with men in public.
The men that are in my life haven't been in my life since I was born. How do you think men who have relationships with women (all types of relationships, not just romantic) do it? You cannot tell me that all men are cowering in their homes because they're just so scared of women being scared of them because it's objectively not true.
Edit::
You're putting words in my mouth. I'm not irrationally afraid of you. If women opting to protect themselves makes you feel like women are coming at you with a knife, that's entirely a 'you' problem.
When did I say you make me feel that way? You just put words in my mouth too. We're miscommunicating.
Yes they are. And your refusal to admit men can feel fear about women is amazingly sexist. Sounds like you think it's impossible for women to present a threat to a man.
I've got an amazing piece of news for you. Not all men are a monolith. Just because the only men you've had in your life suck doesn't mean all men suck.
That's like saying I ate rotten bread. Thus all bread is rotten.
I never said the men in my life suck, I said the exact opposite. Are you fighting ghosts? What's happening here?
It just clicked I think! I never said it's women's fault. When did I say that? I think that might have been projection on your part possibly?
Its called miscommunication. We are clearly talking past each other and I'm trying to find you. I have no idea. So I keep asking questions till I figure out where you are so I can learn from you. I can't learn from you without understanding you first. Perhaps you can ask me some smaller incremental questions?
It's not fair to edit your comments in an active conversation - I'm missing parts of your reply.
That's ableism. I'm autistic and don't process or communicate that way, and have time blindness. I'm sorry I made you feel like I put you in an unfair situation, it was not my intent. I will try to slow down and be more careful about making edits when talking to you specifically. I wouldn't want you to feel like I'm being unfair to you.
I will proof read more carefully for the rest of this particular thread.
And then sadly I will probably forget we had this conversation after it concludes. But I still will have appreciated it while it lasted. ♥️
Where did I refuse to admit men can feel fear about women? Quote me.
I don't think it's impossible for women to present a threat to a man. The inverse is true though and pretending like men don't pose a threat to women is being really disingenuous.
Where did I claim men don't pose a threat to women? Quote me.
Isn't that true too?