this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2026
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Sexual performance related anxiety in homosexual relationships (programming.dev)
submitted 10 hours ago* (last edited 27 minutes ago) by emotional_soup_88@programming.dev to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I am a white heterosexual cisman and I am constantly haunted by intrusive thoughts related to how I will perform or be perceived in bed.

Whenever I see depictions of gay - especially lesbian - relationships, I imagine the relationship being a lot less toxic, less detrimental to each other's mental health and - most of all - less prone to performance related anxiety.^[I am fully aware of the hardships that homosexual people have to endure throughout their lives. This is an unrelated matter.]

Is this just prejudice^[We all know how media and pornography paint a certain picture of homosexual relationships to serve heterosexual people.] or is there some truth to it?

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[–] dazzlingclitgame@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Yep!! And it’s similar for women - we can lose arousal easily if our mind isn’t fully focused on sex.

Keeping the goal of sex as just having fun and making your partner feel good is important. Climax is nice, but not necessary to have good sex.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 1 hour ago

Exactly. I'm on antidepressants, plus my testicles don't work so getting an erection can be a struggle.

But I sure do love getting the opportunity to use my tongue to get my wife there.