hallo hallo~ just dumping some thoughts down below~
sorry for lack of streams, ngl....maybe after 11+ years of streaming my brain is semi-fried on it ＼(-___________-;)／idk what to do
but I really really really appreciate all the support everyone has shown me ;__; thank you thank you! I 100% don't want to quit, but it's okay to pause memberships until I figure things out properly :D and I do feel like that time will come (hopefully soon) if there's times where I'm not feeling well enough to stream, it weighs on my mind a bit that I am probably letting you guys down, even though you're the ones who support me and keep me going 🙇 I feel really lucky to have so many people that watch streams and care about me or the things I do 😌🙏 (thinking about lowering YT memba price anyways for now!)
there's some crazy cool things cooking that you guys will see soon though, thankfully! I'm also trying to figure out a better arrangement for personal/streaming stuff since sharing a living space with others drains me so bad, but it just makes the most sense in a lot of ways🤔 buh sometimes it feel like there's so many people relying on me, and although that should be a motivator; I keep curling up into a ball trying to shut everything out by reading or playing games...yet not enough energy or comfortable enough to stream how I want ( •̀ - •́ ) I know I overcomplicate things and my mindset on streaming, but it feels like there is so much to consider overall; how streams are presented, how I present myself, carefully choosing words, trying to stay upbeat & full of energy despite other things. There's a part of me that still craves the carefree attitude that came so easily before, but I don't really have any ideas on how to get there again. Outside of streaming, i tend to be more low energy & apathetic, but I have always tried to be more bubbly and "sunshine"-y on stream, especially since I want to cheer up those watching :) but in a way I feel like that also has been difficult to keep up for so long buh well all this is probably better said to a professional or something lmao, but I also wanted to type it out and be upfront, since maybe that's a step in the right direction somehow! plus typing it out vs saying it on stream means no clipping or framing things in a different way or tripping over my own words . HMMMM WHAT I NEEED IS A FORTIFIED PADDED ROOM WITH JUST ME AND MY PCs ( ≖‿ ≖ ) yeaaa ..just kidding 👀unles
anyways, thank you again! sorry for breaking the 4th wall so to speak (º﹃º) hope it's not too much of a read! if you guys want to leave any advice or feedback, feel free to ~
also I just downloaded OSRS, thinking about trying it on stream (￣^￣)ゞbring me back to the good 'ol days
From YouTube post
