this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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ImGoingToHellForThis

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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Welcome to the EFK, the Electronic Fleshlight Kiosk.

Your first trial usage is free *

With a low monthly subscription of just $60, we can provide you with a pleasant experience while you place your donation.

With a premium subscription of $120 a month, we can ensure the kiosk is sanitized and lubricated for your safety.

With a monthly child support payment, we can inform you of how many children you have fathered.

  • Please watch this 10 minute advertisement on Viagra before proceeding...
[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is there a cheaper more unpleasant option that I can afford or is the unpleasant version more expensive because it is niche?

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We do still offer Free Circumcision Sundays *

  • Business Hours: Monday through Saturday, 9am to 5pm. Closed on Sundays, except for confessionals.
[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Religious is a bit out of my comfort zone. Do you have an uncomfortable secular option?

They do but it's a complete rip off.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Are they available for purchase?

[–] KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

DDG is kinda hinting on a DIY solution. I am... conflicted.

Yeah, I'll pass on the Ultra Rapid Extractor, I think.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 3 points 1 year ago

I don't think I want the ultra rapid extraction.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

A friend of mine would be interested too.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago
[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

TBF, if your hand touches your own erection, that's clearly gay, so obviously someone had to invent a fuckable kiosk so they don't have to swap sexualities when they're getting IVF.

(/s)