this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 154 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 81 points 1 month ago (82 children)

I understand it’s a joke but I wanted to throw some other numbers out there for people to consider, since resistance training can massively improve your quality of life and it’s very common for people to believe it needs to be a full time job to see results. For disclosure, I am a trainer but don’t offer services via lemmy

But you can get head-turning, people-ask-you-questions-unprompted levels of muscular with <5 hours a week in the gym. And that’s the full time commitment for what I’d called a “serious trainee”, any more than that is mainly for people who simply love training as a form of recreation and actively want to spend more time lifting.

Most of my clients do 2.5 hours a week and still get great visual results, albeit more slowly. More importantly, you cash in on quality of life benefits with shockingly little weekly commitment. Even one session per week is enough to feel huge improvements in energy and endurance during day to day tasks, improve your metabolic health, improve your bone health, improve your mental health, as well as experience the whole cascade of improved injury outcomes (for example resistance trained individuals are less likely to fall, less likely to be injured if they do fall, and are more likely to make a full recovery if they do get injured).

It’s extremely worth starting, for all ages and genders. Again, apologies for being overly serious under a joke. I like to leave little comments like this under popular gym posts because it occasionally results in someone beginning or returning to training

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I know there's probably isn't your area of expertise, but I don't know where else to ask.

Are there any gym memberships out there that aren't completely sketchy and impossible to cancel?

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Definitely, and actually you would be surprised. A lot of places introduced no-contract memberships after covid. Lots of places went out of business too, then all that equipment went up for sale for cheap and lots of new places ended up opening.

But the main thing to look for is small, privately owned gyms. I can really only speak to my area, but I have several. The most common arrangement is simply that you pay monthly, can cancel any time you want, but every time you sign up again there’s a sign-up fee. One other place I know simply charges an extra $10 per month for a no-commitment membership.

Keep an eye out, again for smaller privately owned commercial gyms in general, but also for specialized gyms such as those that cater to powerlifting, olympic lifting, or strongman. Usually they are lacking in “amenities” that drive the price up, and are less likely to have predatory subscription schemes in general. The only downside is that these places can seem very intimidating at first, but the community is likely to be very welcoming

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[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 73 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Now you just need a Harley and you will never see a woman again.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Lol. Got moto as a chick magnet. Instead it just attracts middle aged men.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 month ago

In leather.

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[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 47 points 1 month ago

Yeah, that's why I NEVER work out, so I won't get distracted by other dudes when I'm trying to attract ladies! Wait, I think I see a flaw in my logic....

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 1 month ago (5 children)

This also works with Beard Bros. You'll have all the men giving you compliments and women asking you to shave it.

[–] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

do not let this stop you from growing a giant white beard that reaches your knees

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago

The beard is for me, not them

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

See what you gotta do if you want ladies is grow a mustache. Ladies looooove a stache.

Source: am lady. Love stache.

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[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Wear a nice wrist watch. Not a smart watch, something classy. I have one as a gift and I get compliments from other (arguably straight) men all the time. I have never had a woman mention it (I have had women compliment my shoes, shirts, glasses, etc, so this isn't a " zero sample size" issue either.)

[–] bravesirrbn@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What kind of shoes, shirts, glasses etc. do you wear? Asking for a friend

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 1 month ago

Crocs, tweed, wraparound bifocals.

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[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Same with having a nice car lol

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (16 children)

Wear nicely fitting clothes (tailored if you can get them), be warm if you’re approached, express genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Bonus points for sense of humor.

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[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago (5 children)

One woman's opinion:

Bigass muscles are hot on a guy with some body fat. Sumo wrestlers and rugby forwards are WAY hotter than bodybuilders.

The men who don't make a big deal out of it and then they take their shirt off and they're muscly, that's way more fun than a guy hanging out with his sleeves tucked up.

[–] dismay3915@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Sumo wrestlers? Dude wtf :))

Modern pro bodybuilders are definitely not beautiful, they're more of a spectacle. But sumo wrestler is definitely a type.

[–] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Mat depend of you mental image of sumo wrestler. In video game they have a big ass belly. In real life their is less fat. Edit : Google image is not flaterous for sumo... I start to join you...

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[–] spagbolioli@thelemmy.club 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

a gay friend of mine once said to me, all men are gay until proven straight and bodybuilders completely epitomise that

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[–] Smaile@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 month ago

oh well, may as well enjoy the vibes.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Lol. I love this joke.

But also, I feel the need (a crime in the shitposting community, I know) to point out that, in fact, most women find muscles on men attractive, and if you are a man trying to attract women, while getting jacked isnt the end-all-be-all, you could certainly have a worse strategy. If you don't believe me.... well, go bench 225 and cut down to abs and get back to me.

If you are benching 225 and have abs already, then the problem is much simpler. The reality is, the modal woman interested in men finds stereotypically masculine things hot - being jacked, riding motorcycles, being able to fight, making lots of money, being good at sports, being a leader, etc. But all of these things are sort of like making upgrades to your car - you can do an engine swap, upgrade the suspension, replace the exhaust, add a spoiler, and put flame decals on the wheels. But your car isnt going to go anywhere if you don't take your key and put it in the ignition. Similarly, being really hot and attractive in a bunch of different ways isn't going to get you laid if you can't meet a new woman and ask if she wants to bone without being weird about it.

Which - funny enough - is illustrated in this very comic. Gym bro hits the gym, walks out expecting girls to fall all over him, and gets no response because he doesn't talk to them.

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[–] dismay3915@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Bros are all that matters

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dude if my physique got me a whole bunch of compliments from a bunch of dudes, that'd be awesome.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] vsis@feddit.cl 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Same thing with motorbikes, sport cars and epic guitar solos.

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[–] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 month ago

So wholesome. 10/10 would spot all those Bros.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 month ago

Every house party rofl

[–] spagbolioli@thelemmy.club 15 points 1 month ago

the homoeroticism and deep insecurities of bodybuilders will never not amuse the shit out of me

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, having friends is a green flag for dating.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A girl wanting to be your friend (as a straight guy) is a fucking golden opportunity.

Girls know girls! Girls want their friends to have boyfriends!

Another woman saying "he was interested in me but stopped trying to get in my pants when I told him he wasn't interested, and I like hanging around him" is a massive help.

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[–] wingnut@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think its good he moved on from his expectations and enjoyed the attention he got 🙂

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So it's more of a hobby, really

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 9 points 1 month ago

Yes it's is. A rather enjoyable one at that.

Sry have to go, rest timer ended

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[–] Magnus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn I need to start working out

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 10 points 1 month ago

Can confirm. The ratio of men complimenting me vs women is like 10:1. I don't lift weights for attention though it's just a side effect.

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