As someone who has actually had to service gear inside an equinox data center I'll tell you this: mostly unstaffed yes but more secure than a bank. I had I think six layers of security to get through including badge readers, man traps, palm scanners and combination locks.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2026
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You'd be amazed what a determined meth addict with a crowbar can do.
The new ones for AI etc. are nowhere near a bank level security.
Pretty easy to knock a hole in a concrete slab wall and have full access to the goods if somebody wanted too.
Looking at them I'm not even sure you'd need to break concrete, I'm pretty certain they're thin wall steel construction. A circular saw would make a nice doorway.
The amount of dust that would get poured into the room would almost certainly set off the fire suppression system, sucking the oxygen out of the room within 30 seconds of activation and suffocating anyone left inside.
Can you suck oxygen out of a room with a massive hole in it?
That's a no.
Also the fire suppression systems usually dump gases like nitrogen, argon, CO2 etc toreduce the O2 percentage in a room. They also don't work as well with a venting hole. A mask with a small O2 container like they use for climbing is recommended.
What is a man trap?
The thing you avoid by driving a stolen car into the outside wall.
Apparently this:
Mantrap: “Fool, no man can escape me!”
Eowyn: pulls off her helmet
So an airlock?
Basically, but man traps are not usually airtight or even have a pressure differential. Usually just a room that can only be opened externally and only one exit can be opened at a time.
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What I'm reading is "bring a bottle jack" and just pry the thing in half.
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And dont forget the copper cables lining the walls, powering the systems. Absolute treasure trove in there.
I heard of a guy who not only sold the copper but also the palladium and gold and made a fortune. Now he drives a Mercedes.
I'd do it for a Ford.
I'd do it for one of Crazy Vaclav's fine automobiles.
Shit, if they're as noisy as I hear some of the AI ones are, I'd do it for some god damn peace and quiet.
Also don't tell anyone about huge amounts of ram sticks that you can easily get out by hundreds.
They aren't DIMMs so basically no resale value. Only usable for data center servers.
Then they need to be freed as a whole to become data centers of the people, run by the people.
There are Chinese back-alley workshops already lifting the NAND modules from them and installing them on standard DIMM modules.
DRAM*
NAND is what (some) SSDs use.
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Absolutely should not tell people that fire is its weakness, and damaging data centers hurts insurance companies more because of equipment replacements, and rebuilding structures costs + manpower and whatnot.
The fire suppression system uses inert gas, it won't damage the equipment.
Don't fire them until after you've taken the ram
Uh, or not I am too high to backwards words that
they're also filled with gpus...
A commom mistake bank robbers make is that they take more gold than they can carry, stuff is heavy. I feel GPUs are similar in their value to weight ratio, RAM is much lighter and easier to take a lot of. Imagine the value of a backpack full of GPUs vs one full of RAM sticks.
You're probably right that the value density of RAM sticks is better... But NVidia B300 GPUs are still ~$45,000 each. A backpack full is still quite a lot of money.
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I don't know how legit this is, but I heard that datacenters also where people store their catalytic converters when they change to electric vehicles.
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It's a small step from "robotic guard dogs," to "armed robotic guard dogs."
https://fortune.com/2026/03/17/robot-dog-patrols-data-centers-ai-infrastructure-buildout/
You know how much gold and platinum is in a robot attack dog? Free ammo too!
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My money is on the crackheads with facepaint and sledge hammers
crackheads with face~~paint~~
lemon juice
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The staff wont stop you but if you arent familiar with how to isolate electrical equipment with more than one source of power you might get yourself killed.
this was such an incredible skit. one for the ages
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