Would You Rather

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Welcome to c/WouldYouRather, where we present you with the toughest, most ridiculous choices you never knew you had to make! Would you rather have a third arm that's only useful for picking your nose, or be able to talk to animals but only if they're wearing hats? Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. Come for the absurdity, stay because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your life.

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WYR a talking chicken that refuses to be house-trained/diapered or a talking snake that eats random items? (lemmy.keychat.org)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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They follow you everywhere and will mysteriously appear whenever you're sure you've shaken them. If they die while in your care then you turn into that animal.

The hen's poop contains all the normal pathogens and smells, it also enjoys shoulder rides and isn't afraid to peck you. The snake will eat things it cannot digest if you don't stop it and will occasionally try to eat things it cannot even swallow.

The hen enjoys talking about cocks while the snake is vocal about its rather questionable political views.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Chicken. I've had chickens, they're alright. Talking will be a mixed blessing, because while funny they're also dicks, but I'll take it.

Racist suicidal snake can get fucked.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Snake. Although it's not living long. The instant I happen upon a snake with a phone-shaped lump in the middle, is the beginning of the end I'm afraid.

There's a reason why foul are called that. Chicken droppings are just the worst. I don't care if you have puppy training pads or litter boxes everywhere, your house will never smell nice again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

What you describe is essentially what having a pet chicken is already like. Not even joking; the only difference is that it would be speaking english instead of chicken.

Admittedly, my girl is mostly trained to go on pads instead of anywhere else, and makes sure to hang her butt over the edge of the shoulder, but still.

I don't expect that the bird talking in English would change what they say, which is mostly : give me that food, monkey servant.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What you describe is essentially what having a pet chicken is already like. Not even joking; the only difference is that it would be speaking english instead of chicken.

Right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Dang skippy lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't want either of those things! Why the hell would I choose one?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Why the hell would I choose one?

That's how "would you rather" works. There's no rule that the choices have to be good.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Snakes can vomit. Chickens can't. Snake FTW. He sounds amusing, anyways.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I'd like to debate that snake.