this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
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OP has a hidden talent (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 week ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 72 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm a handyman. I don't advertise lock picking as a service I offer due to liability issues. But occasionally a client asked me if I can pick a lock. There have been times where I said okay. This might take between 5 seconds and 30 minutes. And they turn away. And 5 seconds later the lock is picked. Then they start asking all kinds of uncomfortable questions about how they can get better locks.

When a client moves into a new house I usually include changing all the keying for each lock because you have no idea how many people have a key to that house.

When I do a straight change out of all the locks in the house I save all of them and put them in my garage workshop. When I'm cleaning my workshop and I find one of these locks I make a point of picking it.

Never once has any of this resulted in a cute woman (not a girl) being interested in me. Some people have accused me of being a wizard or a boy scout but mostly being able to pick a lock just demonstrates to people how insecure they really are for their safety.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (5 children)

The first thing I learned when learning to pick locks was that locks are a lie we tell ourselves and nothing we do can stop a sufficiently motivated person from getting into an area. Even if every possible measure is taken, your house is always going to be 5 min with a drill and sawzaw away from having a new door.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Locks keep out opportunists, people who go down the street jiggling handles to try to find an open door. Locks do nothing to keep a motivated person out if they want to get into your stuff specifically.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 11 points 1 week ago

This is it. We're basically on the honor system, and criminals are looking for easy targets.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

After watching hours and hours of Lock Picking Lawyer I realize that locks are merely a deterrent for honest unskilled people.

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

CGPGray mentions this in his older video about encryption. Locks are a deterrent, but a motivated person or government forces can bypass relatively easy. The reason it works is because of the personal danger to people trying to break in getting caught. He used it to contrast how digital locks need to be much stronger since they can be "picked" from across the world without any physical danger of being caught or arrested.

[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And maybe one day governments will realize that if they mandate a one size fits all key to encryption they are intentionally breaking that lock and someone will both figure it out and use it against them.

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

Yeah, that's what prompted the video. It was back when US government was demanding an Apple backdoor, and he argued what you said.

[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's generally faster to pick a window than a lock.. and by pick a window, I mean throw a rock through it.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

This is why I leave my car unlocked and just don't keep anything valuable in there. I'd rather some prospective thief just open the door, find nothing but some change and a couple pens, and go on with their day instead of having to replace a broken window.

[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Never overestimate how secure a lock is when there is a sandwich of vinyl siding, OSB, insulation and drywall just six inches away.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (5 children)

One day at work, someone locked the storeroom keys in the storeroom. Luckily the network engineer had a set of lockpicks in his car, and knew how to use them. He played it like lockpicks are a perfectly normal thing to carry in your vehicle, but we don't buy it.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He's a network engineer, so that's completely normal

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Look all I'm saying is if you didn't work on at least one weird skill during covid you did it wrong

A basic kit from sparrows costs like $20 and it's way easier than most people think

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah, I'm feeling kinda called out by this thread... We got locked out of a job-box at work and I didn't have my kit, I was fuming when we had to call a $200 locksmith for a masterlock and I was about to start throwing fists when they said the anti pick bumps "made picking impossible" and drilled through it. I was convinced that they do that with every lock, zero knowledge or experience and just go around raking people over the coals to destroy their property.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I've watched too much LPL and feel your rage. But yeah, your typical locksmith doesn't give a shit and is on a schedule. Fastest way into a lock is gonna be drilling it or going around it.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

The worst part is that it was a job-box we were locked out of. There were probably 4 drills and numerous other tools to destroy the lock and get inside.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I have a pick, but when I need into a lock what I have is bolt cutters. Sure I'd love to get better and be able to throw open a lock with ease, but when in doubt I don't trust myself enough to buy a padlock that resists bolt cutting.

I will say though, my U lock I got for $15 and accidentally let rust to uselessness took a remarkable amount of effort to bypass. No angle grinding, but it took some serious dremeling and a pair of cheater bars with the cutters

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Right? I know it's all about making money in the end but just a few minutes of picking might be enough, and if not you can say you tried.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Look all I'm saying is if you didn't work on at least one weird skill during covid you did it wrong

Some of us had to work and didn't get the chance to bake bread and connect with nature, goddarnit!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Your loss. I know how to make cheese

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 5 points 1 week ago

I only found myself saddled with a house, a degree a wife and 2 kids. Not sure how some people got off so easy with just a couple of weird skills...

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I need to practice. I got a practice lock but I absolutely suck with it

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's hard to describe since it's mostly based on feel. You start by feeling around to build a kind of mental map in your head. Then when you start you're keeping the right amount of pressure on the tension wrench as you mess with each pin. You gotta have a gentle touch and it takes some time to find how much is enough.

MIT has a paper on the process too, I'll see if I can find it and link it here

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I learned lockpicking at a security conference I attended with my class in college while getting a degree in networking. Lockpicking is one of those things that normies find scary but it's actually a pretty fun and easy skill to pick up. Seriously go buy a $20 kit on Amazon and have some fun!

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Was it Defcon? They usually had workshops on picking locks. Those conferences were so fun.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No it was Cyphercon in Milwaukee. Lots of people there also have defcon badges and swag so there's a ton of influence from Defcon at least

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nice. I've never heard of Cyphercon, and Milwaukee is a lot closer to me. Probably a little too soon for me to manage to make it happen this year, hopefully next year.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah I haven't been able to make it since their 4th year. Super inconvenient time of year for me. But the times I have been able to make it it's been a blast. I think Madison now has a new hacker conference too? And there's Thotcon in Chicago too

[–] EchoCranium@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 week ago

Great skill to have, and not really difficult, just a matter of practice and getting a feel for it. I learned from a neighbor when I was just starting college, after he saw me locked out of the house. He was a tool and die maker, had a nice set of picks he made himself. Still have the small set he gave me in a toolbox somewhere, though haven't used them in over 20 years now so terribly out of practice.

[–] Patrikvo@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you don't have lock picks, handgun with silencer, scuba suit and parachute in your car, you're not prepared when your hero moment arrives.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

tried to unlock my tragic backstory

No wait, tell the locksmith to come back.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

In this part of the Pick Your Own Adventure, if you pick the "let the bos unlock you" path, you have to start reading from the back cover to the front because it turns into a manga with no girls in it.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Unless this dude looks like a complete troll I’m pretty sure he’s rolling in it with that set of skills…

Hell Im a straight dude and I wanna meet him.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 6 points 1 week ago

OP is a manic pixi dream something.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

I know how to pick locks for the same reason I know how to solve a Rubik's cube. I like solving puzzles

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Username cheks out?

[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I'm a handyman. I don't advertise lock picking as a service I offer due to liability issues. But occasionally a client asked me if I can pick a lock. There have been times where I said okay. This might take between 5 seconds and 30 minutes. And they turn away. And 5 seconds later the lock is picked. Then they start asking all kinds of uncomfortable questions about how they can get better locks.

When a client moves into a new house I usually include changing all the keying for each lock because you have no idea how many people have a key to that house.

When I do a straight change out of all the locks in the house I save all of them and put them in my garage workshop. When I'm cleaning my workshop and I find one of these locks I make a point of picking it.

Never once has any of this resulted in a cute woman (not a girl) being interested in me. Some people have accused me of being a wizard or a boy scout but mostly being able to pick a lock just demonstrates to people how insecure they really are for their safety.