IWNDWYT
Stop Drinking
This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.
We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.
Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.
I will not drink with you today
I laid out some of my issues to an LLM yesterday (yeah I know) and I got some pretty good insight as to why I feel like I have to drown boredom with alcohol. I just feel understimulated a lot and when a big part of my day, i.e. my job, is not keeping me busy, I get that extra kick of inertia after dinner, a hole I then just try to fill by having a drink and doing whatever.
Before that drink, I don't feel it's possible to activate myself at all. Ideas about how to spend my time just feel hollow when I think of them, even if they would normally bring me joy. Something I'm really missing is what the LLM called 'micro-connections', just being somewhere and having some sort of interaction with anyone.
But isn't it super depressing that of all those days we have on Earth (of which the total is limited, by the way) we have to escape just sitting out the time? I can't help feeling that every moment should be spent in a meaningful way and when I inevitably come to the conclusion that that's just not possible, I just get paralysed and the only way out seems to numb those feelings, either by drinking or by distractions like video games, sports, bar games, board games, whatever. Just any type of activity as long as it's engaging enough to shut up the thoughts until it's time for bed.
So anyway that's what I'm dealing with, IWNDWYT.
I feel this too. :(
+2
I am going to read through that a few more times but this summarizes my “predicament”… or is it a predilection? ;)
My mental challenge in some ways is to pick one thing, any thing, to actually DO. Edit: that isn’t drinking.
Today my work was especially slow and around 2 p.m. I was fused to the couch and seriously considering just having a drink to take the edge off. But I have this friend who likes to go fishing and I piggybacked on that hobby last year and since the weather was fine I went fishing again today. It was nice just to be outside and even though I had to get over that hump, once I was sorta active I felt a lot better.
And just for reference, the LLM suggested looking for some sort of activity that was good to do solo, preferably at a place where others might also go solo, but with a focus on the activity so you don't have to get into small talk or focus on drinking.
I know bars and stuff can be triggering for those of us who really struggle with addiction but bar sports are a great idea for me on paper. I could just go play darts or pool in a pool hall, or go do board games in a game cafe. Bonus points of I have any form of human connection and I'd allow myself to have a couple of beers, might even go by car limit my alcohol intake that way because no matter how much I'd love to drink too much, I'd never drink more than the legal limit when driving.
There's just that hump, that threshold, the insecurity of the night going as I'd like it to.
Re: “ I can’t help feeling that every moment should be spent in a meaningful way” … you may have a different meaning behind the words “meaningful way” but I think any activity that makes a positive change in your life, in someone else’s life, in the environment around you, could be counted as meaningful. Reading a good book or writing challenges your mental growth. Your “gone fishing” example strikes me as meaningful. Bonus points if you encountered someone along the way and smiled at them or shared a pleasantry. Micro-connections.
I have to stop doom scrolling, and watching television and start doing. Went OUT to a movie last night with my partner which felt far better than binging another episode or 3 of whatever.
IWNDT