You Don't Surf

Ok ok, but for real, I mean how long do you want it cooked?

I don't know, 40cm by 50cm?

"'how rare?'...i mean i'm out for steak, so might as well spring for legendary"

My daughter ordered off the kiddie menu when she was about 7 at a steak house. They asked her how she'd like it and she thought for a moment and then answered "big". They brought her one hell of a steak, way bigger than the 10oz I had ordered.

"I asked for medium rare, but it's well done."

"Thanks!"

Have you ever gone out to a steakhouse, and tried to order a modest ribeye, but instead, they ask you if you want to take your phone out before your steak arrives, and it is presented to you in an ornate wooden box with smoke and lights coming out of it and garnished in purple flowers for some unknown reason?

"But how would you like your steak cooked?"

"Oh! Yes please. Cooked would be great. Thank you."

Well done with ketchup and a side of kid

-Trump

Do you want it reverse seared?

No, I want it straight forward,

And don't call me Seared.