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Ricky Martin is aging like wine, Kid Rock is aging like milk left out in the sun in Arizona.
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this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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Seinfeld would know, he likes them young too.
Jesus... I feel like I just witnessed physical violence.
Don't do kids, drugs!
Do some of the drugs kids. Just not the ones kid rock does.
Don’t do rock, kid.
Kids, at a certain point in life you're going to feel an urge to cut back on the late nights partying and feel like you ought to eat better and exercise more, maybe even spend a Saturday hiking without drugs or alcohol. If you don't listen to your body when it tells you that, you'll wind up looking like kid rock. And if you don't get that feeling by 30 pretend you did and do it anyways.
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MAGA is bad for your health.
Ricky Martin on his pro wrestler arc…
Kid Rock on his raisin arc
I didn't know what a meth den smells like until I saw this picture of Kid Rock.
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Kid Rock looks like he's waiting under a bridge to ask you his questions three.
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Meth diet vs Caribbean/Puerto Rican diet.
Ricky understands that part of his business is looking good, and good on him for taking good care of his body and staying in great shape. That's teen idol stuff.
Kid Rock, well, he's just a walking dumpster fire and always has been. If he hadn't broken into the music industry he'd be an incel.
Hate ages you worse than any other drug!
Have you seen chronic meth addicts?
Ricky Martin: Living la vida loca.
Kid rock: Living la vida coke-a.
i think it was steve-o who told a story about him and kid rock doing a mountain of coke all night. literally piled on a table
I listened to the H3 podcast recently and apparently, kid rock made a song for the Osmosis Jones movie that had some very questionable lyrics when you consider that Osmosis Jones is based on a kid’s show about the body and how it works. You’d think they’d make lyrics relating to the body, word play on bacteria and immune systems and organs etc. but no. The entire song is about how kid rock gets high and drunk and rapes underaged girls on an island.
Examples:
See me cruisin' in my Caddy
Hoes, they like to call me daddy
Cool, when I'm stylin'
Just rollin' on the island
Now just in case I pack heat
Keep a case of brew in my backseat
Got a pocket full of cash, hey
Got a fatty in my ashtray
Also this lyric:
Can't call me, just page me (Daddy, yeah)
Young ladies, young ladies
I like 'em underage, see
Some say that's statutory
But I say it's mandatory
Very wholesome and normal.
The best/worst part is the "I say it's mandatory" isn't Kid Rock, but a literal kid saying it...
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Drugs and alcohol can fry your brains.
His brain was already fried by being a wealthy white dude who think he hit a home run.
You mean skid rock?
I was just telling my wife this morning that Ricky Martin looks SO GOOD - WHAT A FREAKIN' HUNK!!!
This is not a fair comparison. This is like saying "my ten day old dogshit sandwich tastes worse than my ten day old cake"
Kid rock looks like the brother of the my pillow freak.
He will no longer be known as kid rock, he will known now as man gravel.
I call him Kid-ney Stone
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Even if Ricky Martin looked like aging milk left out in the sun in Arizona. I would still choose Ricky Martin.
When Ricky came on, the wind began to blow.
Can Kid Rock summon the wind? That shitbag is lucky to summon a fart.
Living la vida loca
🎼He, is, so, burnt, out
Doing meth instead of coca
Why, is, his, face, so red?
Also a self identifying predator. 🎶
Kid’s performance of dancing pathetically on that stage all alone looked like a reject at his own party he paid a total of 75$ to throw.
Kid Rock looks like Dr. (Mr?) Phil in a greasy wig with somehow worse facial hair.
Fuck 'em both.
Kid Rock was born in January 1971 and Ricky Martin in December 1971. The difference in these roughly 11 months apparently means either looking like a rotting corpse pulled from a dumpster or like a fit latino daddy.
We sure it's the same guy?
Kid Rock turned into Meth Rock
I thought staying skinny while on meth was part of the deal.
mostly alcohol, it pretty much ages you, and kid rock is a known alcoholic.
Another fun fact: We know Ricky Martin can count to at least 3, this has yet to be confirmed for Kid Rock, but signs point to no.
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