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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/43324678
"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"
"No- wait, Dracula?"
"Yes!"
"You're vampires?"
"Yes. We have pamphlets."
"Vampires have missionaries?"
"Where else would new vampires come from?"
"I assumed you bit people."
"There are many hurtful stereotypes. May we come in?"
Ohoho you sneaky bicthes
Imagine broke Romanian vampires squatting outside a commie block.
Oooh what a feeling
When we're squatting from the ceiling
We are cold
But Our blood boils
When we get the bill for central heating.
Bruh if you've had 500+ years on this planet and still haven't figured out how to make money, I can't help you. Shit, your baby toys would be worth a ton to a museum. People are stupid, assholes are predictable. Take advantage. Get your castle. Make. That. Blood.
They live for many hundreds of years and can enthrall rich people into giving them anything they want. Vampires can live in whatever the fuck they like.
@SnokenKeekaGuard Homelessness is on the rise amongst young vampires who can't find a decent cave or a derelict building anywhere. 🧛♂️ 🧛♀️
Trying to figure out what depiction of a vampire in a castle lead to this post.
Bah... f--k a vampire in his castle of doom
Having read Blindsight and Echopraxia, yes, please sign me up for this training.
Actually count dracula lived in the castle because he is based off from Vlad the impeller a prince one of the most brutal murders of his day but I guess a prince wasn't spooky enough for Bram Stoker (the author of Dracula) so he made him a Count either that or Mickey Mouse learned how to time travel and put the fear of Disney prince in him.