this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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OMG, yes! Pulling on those knobs, like it was a in elaborate pinball machine was awesome!
Sigh... Thanks for the shitty memory unlock.
First off my parents were extremely Mormon growing up and the religion bans tobacco use.
When I was about 5 ran up to one of these machines and started to play with it. I had a grand time for about 2 minutes until my mother spotted me. A quick smack to the side of the head to knock me down and around 20 spanks ended the fun. I then got a 30 minute screaming tirade about touching the evil devil machines on the drive home.
And my mother wonders why I haven't spoken to her in over a decade.
That's just mean.
I could see a "Don't touch that machine, it's filthy" (because it probably is covered in smoke and tobacco).
But it should have been clear a 5 year old wasn't trying to get cigarettes to smoke, and even if you wanted to take that time to go off on the evils of tobacco and smoking (which is fair enough, even without the religious connection) you don't need to pair it with physical abuse.
It's a bit worse than just mean. Mormon theology quietly embraces narcissistic behavior and violence.
In Mormonism having one cigarette or a cup of coffee = going to hell.
They also have a toxic belief of avoiding the "appearance of evil". Aka it also a major sin if you let people think you are okay with taking part in the activity.
For children under 8 years old, if the parents fail to correct their kids, the sins they do become the parents responsibility.
Beating your child is perfectly acceptable and an approved method of correction in Mormonism.