this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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I don't believe in God nor am I religious, but consciousness just feels so fucking weird man. Everything in the world can be explained through science and physics, cause and effect, hell even our brains and actions are just a chain of atoms interacting. But consciousness just feels so out of place. Why am I? Why am I even aware of my own existence? Why has a set of atoms resulted in my non-material consciousness? It feels so out of place. Why isn't it just a bunch of atoms bumping into eachother, why am I capable of feeling and thinking?
I think about this more than anything in those quiet "run the brain's existential dread garbage collection routine" moments.
Self aware consciousness is just so wild. Like you say, how does it even exist? But it's also so common on our little planet here (even if we only count the humans) that it is as commonplace as it is spectacular.
It feels like this magical "extra" thing, but at the same time the evidence kinda suggests it's just something that naturally happens once you get complex life.
You might find some answers in Julian Jaynes The origin of consciousness in the breakdown of the bicameral mind.
Short version: consciousness is kind of new. We aren't really good at it.
Also, Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright is very good. Less about Buddhism more about how we think and why it works.
I was really curious to check out that first book after your short version.
But damn, the subject matter of that second book might draw my attention first. The Buddhist approach & techniques made so much sense to me in a completely pragmatic way.
I might have to order myself physical copies of both of these to read outside by my koi pond on cool fall days. The fact that the whole scene will be so on the nose to the point of being cliched will just amuse me further, lol.
Thanks for the recommendations!
Edit: oh jesus christ there's a koi on the cover of Why Buddhism is True, haha. Looks like I should invest in the hardcover.
I got a lot out of Wright's book and I continue to revisit it.
It is a slow read that demands your attention, but it is very enlightening.
I will keep that in mind. I look forward to taking my time with it. Thank you again!
I ordered the other book too, but Wright's book here has definitely jumped to the front of the line.