this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2025
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85% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the American border. And yous claim you don't want to be part of them.
*(runs and hides)*
If anything, this proves how much Canadians don't want to be Americans.
Canadian weather is shitty, you can't grow crops for most of the year. During the fraction of the year where the climate is suitable for growing crops, the variety of things that grow is small compared to what's possible in the US. And, as bad as winter can be, summer's no good either. You don't want to be outside in the winter because it's -30, and you don't want to be outside in the summer because it's +35. The cost of living in Canada is high because you need to heat your home in the winter and cool it in the summer. Almost everybody drives a car because of that "being outside sucks" thing, but cars are expensive to own and operate in Canada. There's the cost of winter tires, more expensive winter fuels, antifreeze in the windshield washer, plus the constant freeze/thaw cycle wrecks the road surfaces, which results in potholes, which results in more wear and tear on cars. In addition, to make driving safe they drop a lot of salt and sand, which just rusts your car. Because the country is a thin strip, everything is far away, and everything communications-related is expensive. And, a low population relative to the US means that a lot of companies just don't offer services in Canada because it isn't worth it to comply with Canadian laws just to get the same number of customers you could get from a single American state. I could keep going on and on.
Yet, despite all that, Canadians huddle up as close as possible to the border for warmth, but refuse to go any further south because that would mean entering the US. As bad as Canada's climate is, putting up with that is an easy decision to make when the alternative is 'Murica.
Canada should join the Nordic countries in a new Kalmar Union. Everything you mentioned is in common, unlike USA and EU, which both span different climates, and thus different ways of life.
Don't get me wrong, I like both EU and the former USA, but I think there's just more mutual ground in latitude than longitudes.
Canada should really just wait until the US collapses and then move south into the wreckage.
The Nordic countries don't understand bad climate. Maybe they want to continue existing as they are, but Canadians will want to move south as soon as the US destroys itself.
| Measure | Oslo | Stockholm | Helsinki | Ottawa | |
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| | Coldest Mean Daily Minimum | -4.7 | -3.2 | -6.3 | -14 | | Coldest Mean Minimum | -15.9 | -13.7 | -20.6 | -27 | | Coldest Record Low | -26.0 | -28.2 | -35 | -38.9 | | Hottest Mean Maximum | 29.6 | 30.6| 27.9 | 32 | | Hottest Record High | 34.6 | 35.4| 33.2 | 37.8 |
Ottawa is significantly colder than those country's capitals during the winter, and significantly hotter in the summer. It might be unpleasant at times to live in those European climates, but it's truly miserable to live in Ottawa for much of the year.
People in the Nordic countries might want to stay there because it's the only place where their language is spoken, or because there are thousands of years of tradition in living there. Meanwhile, Canada as a country is barely 150 years old, and speaks the same language (with roughly the same accent) as the neighbour to the south.
There's a lot in common in terms of culture too. Sure, Canada plays a bit more hockey than the southerners, but they have the NHL too. The other sports are largely shared: Toronto has NBA and MLB teams. Unlike Europe where "futbol" is big, it's pretty small in the English-speaking part of North America, but to the extent it exists, Canada is part of the same system, with teams in Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal. The only split is that Canada plays a superior version of gridiron football with far inferior players, and the US has a mass market hugely popular version of gridiron football with worse rules but much better players.
Canadians watch the same TV shows and movies, and listen to the same music. Many of the stars of stage and screen in the US are actually Canadian, and many shows that are set in the US and air on US TV are actually filmed in Canada.
So really, there isn't a lot that Canada has in common with the Nordic countries. I like the idea of working more with the EU and less with the US, but culturally Canadians are part of the English-speaking North American culture... except when it comes to politics, guns, and healthcare.
I just hope the US hurries its collapse up so that the remnants of the fractured states can petition to join Canada and the border can be shifted down. Then Canadians can move to a more hospitable climate without having to abandon the parts of their culture that matter.