this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Asking a dad for permission to marry a woman is fucking disgusting and needs to go away. Women aren't property. Children aren't property. Fucking toxic shit.
Also boomer-ass "wife bad."
It’s more like “can I be in your family” now a days. If my wife’s dad said no, I would’ve still married her. But knowing that I’m accepted into their family is nice.
If that's the question, why is it always the father they ask?
It's not. I asked their mother. But asked isn't even really the right word. I discussed proposing to their child with them first out of empathy, courtesy, respect, just plain demonstrating the ability to have real life adult conversations. I think using the idiom of "Asking for permission" really has some pedants in this thread in a twist.
That's a nice personal anecdote. But your personal experience has no bearing on the general pervasive attitude that been dragged on from the days when women were in fact legally the property of their fathers and then husbands.
Of course this attitude has changed and evolved over time, but it's still an attitude born from a place of extreme sexism and misogyny. And the amount of men who will ask a fathers permission or expect to be asked for permission for their daughter still comes from a place of still treating women as something to be possessive over due to their gender, is way to damned high.
Your personal experience doesn't change the existence of the pervasive attitude of women being possessions.
A marriage is between two people and their families. It's always personal and anecdotal. Fighting the patriarchy and gender stereotypes doesn't always happen on grand civic scales, it happens in many many boring everyday personal anecdotal interactions.