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[CW: Mentions Suicide, Surgery regret] How to get over regret about bottom surgery without killing myself? (programming.dev)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by MarthaPuppyGirl@programming.dev to c/asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn't say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it's healed for over a month and it hasn't gone away. It's gotten worse! I feel like I'm broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn't fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.

Don't tell me that I don't regret it and that regret is rare. This isn't the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don't regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.

I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I'll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn’t say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it’s healed for over a month and it hasn’t gone away. It’s gotten worse! I feel like I’m broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn’t fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much

so ... you had bottom surgery a year ago, but you have only healed for a month?

can you help me understand what this means?

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (4 children)

My reading is that the feelings noticeably got worse after a month, not that one month was the recovery time.

[–] MarthaPuppyGirl@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yes, that's what I meant. One month of being fully healed, and the feelings of doubt and regret has gotten worse in that time.

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