Klear

At hostpital, lost fingat!

I'm guessing shooting at any other point would produce similar results.

Melania and my Sympathies go out to his beautiful wife

One death is a tragedy, Charlie Kirk's is a statistic

And a knife.

She might have to... wait for it...

Finally, freedom!

...which is why he won't ever say it. The bastard.

I'm a fan of light nanosecond, which works out to roughly 30 cm.

I just wish he stopped stealing my wheels =/

That sounds like Strong Bad's alter ego.

I was originally guessing 1 and 5 being MAGA, not tankies. You say I was closest, but I think that actually qualifies as being the farthest I could have been.

This is - and I cannot overstate it - a joke.