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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/45131187
A man in DC was stuck in gridlocked traffic when another motorist walks up to his window and knocks on it. He says, "Hey it seems terrorists have taken over congress and demanded one billion dollars or they'll burn it down with everyone inside so I'm going car to car to take donations."
The driver replies, "Well about how much is everyone giving?"
The other man responds, "About a gallon."
❌ Conserving gas to save on money
✅ Conserving gas to burn down congress
Dear Canada,
How would YOU feel if I barged into your house and stocked your fridge with 6 packs and a rack of seasoned ribs, huh? Maybe do your dishes and laundry on the way out? Think YOU would like that? Might say fuck it and leave a thank you note on your kitchen counter.
See? Two can play this game, buddy!
Not as much as you'd think because American meat doesn't taste the same as Canadian meat. Canada has stricter laws about adding a bunch of harmful crap to food than the US does, so our food tastes noticeably different. Even my girlfriend's parents have noted that American fast food tastes quite different.
I've heard of stories from other Canadians remarking on how American food tastes worse than ours as well.
Well aware that our consumer protection standards are shit. No, in this context all the gifts would be sourced from north of the boarder, if for no other reason that I'd support your economy than our own.
My local new zealander says both are shit and even home cooked is worse.
He's definitely your buddy guy!
That's a big 10-4, hoser.
It's been over 200 years, the White House might be due for another Canadian 'makeover'...
Trump's most of the way there already...
You're not gonna find the First Lady at Mar-a-Lago, she might accidentally see her not-yet-late husband there.
She lives in NYC full-time now. There's no need to play it out this term.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: Don’t threaten me with a good time, Canada.
Weed would be legal too
This just reminds me of when a bunch of non-Americans made 9/11 jokes thinking it would offend us since it was a big tragedy, not knowing we make tons of 9/11 jokes all the time.
Just tell them I said it's fine 👍
Can't tell if sarcasm
This tweet isn't meant for us. It's meant for MAGA.
They'd be very upset at that tweet if they could read.
Use a neutron bomb. I like the buildings and monuments and museums in DC.
Efficiency and progress is ours once more!
Nice. A Dead Kennedys reference in the wild!