Programmer Humor

My current favorite is in ruby with the unless keyword:

tax = 0.00
unless not_taxed(billing)
  tax = billing.zipcode.blank? ? estimated_tax_from_ip(account) : billing.tax
  tax = (tax.nil? ? 0.00 : tax)
end

To me, anything payments related you want to be really super clear as to what you're doing because the consequences of getting it wrong are your income. Instead we have this abomination of a double negative, several turnaries, and no comments.

Sounds like a motel horror story.

A (poorly written) Shell check if the process was able to write to the production database which in some, not all, cases threw the gem:

!!!!!!!! SQL ERROR !!!!!!!!!

A page that handled call requests. It was a table showing some information about the person, the case it's related to and some other fields. It fetched everything from any table it touched. So the call was fetching all the information about the person. The case it was related to. The person who was assigned to the case, and since the case was linked a couple of layers in, all of that data as well.

I created a simple view that only fetched the data it needed. It went from over A GIGABYTE of data to less than 25mb of data of transfer to the web ui.

It's all mine.

All about PTC's God awful piece of shit PLM/PDM systems IntraLink and PDMlink. I cannot believe the amount of trash code that company uses. And they get paid millions to basically screw the customers over. The costumer's CAD gets intertwined in a huge heap of automated HTML garbage. This leads to a total disaster.

it wasn't funny in any way, but J~~SHIT~~BOSS "microservice" (it was a jboss service with one microservice inside, in a kubernetes pod, with only one core, tell me about redundancy). Service classes with over 2000 lines of code, it shouldn't even be called spaghetti code, more like lasagna code, the pasta came in layers, separation of concerns was a mere suggestion, code was not thread safe (and it needed to be), but there was only 40 Ejbs for each "stateless" service inside de EAR, so number go up, code goes better.

I refactored it, it's now in the glorious quarkus 3.27, on virtual threads and java 21, not hyperbole, but 5x more throughput and you don't need 7 phds in italian cousine.

Edit: I also saw, in Angular, the infamous:

if (variable === true || variable === 'true' || variable === "true") {