this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
287 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

18752 readers
727 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 83 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Overrun? They were there first.

You're data centers are the ones overrunning it

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 12 points 3 weeks ago

TBF I think "overrun" refers to the crabs' annual migration, but I also find the phrasing a little off.

[–] WhatGodIsMadeOf@feddit.org 1 points 3 weeks ago

God hates humanity.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I hope this leads to crab people

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Get a load of this guy! Doesn't know about the crab people!

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 28 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks I haven’t had time to watch this since Cheney died 🦀🦀🦀

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 3 weeks ago

I love a good crab roll

[–] PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why did they put such tremendous effort and then give all the crabs 8 legs though...

[–] tyler@programming.dev 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What the fuck

How did I manage not to know this

Okay, TIL I guess, my bad

[–] tyler@programming.dev 3 points 3 weeks ago

No worries.

[–] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 20 points 3 weeks ago

well they didn't do a very good job of keeping it secret, did they?

Team Crab FTW. Go get em boys!

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

CRAB BATTLE

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Will carcinisation play out with ai? I sure hope so.

[–] maccentric@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago

Fixed thanks

[–] xorollo@leminal.space 1 points 3 weeks ago

This is where the sleepless come from. https://coppermind.net/wiki/Sleepless

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

I would never have believed Google planned on taking over the world with AI crabs until they said this. "We are not constructing ‘a large artificial intelligence data centre’ on Christmas Island,”

[–] PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 5 points 3 weeks ago

The crab video is really marvelous. I love the absolute clear frustration of the crab "ARGH NO DON'T TURN ME UPSIDE DOWN I HAVE EGGS TO LOOK AFTER YOU MORON"

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Crossing my fingers for our crab AI overlords.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sucks to be the guy assigned to that office, especially with RTO

[–] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm down for island living and all you can eat crabs.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but then you have to work for a Google subcontractor

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So thaaat's the island that SeaQuest DSV traveled to 225 (maybe 218 now) years into the future to find out there were two teens on an island battling it out with video games...

spoiler for a very old showand it turns out they are the only two humans left on Earth and they're controlling IRL mechs and it ends up being an Adam and Eve situation.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 3 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck our military are morons.