this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Declaring that some animals simply “got the goods” and “you know it when you see it,” officials at a local animal shelter confirmed Thursday that a newly acquired rescue dog lacked the X factor required to be adopted. “We’re looking for a little razzle-dazzle, and all we got is this total dud cowering in the corner of his crate,” [...]

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