this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2025
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Meth lab straightened up ahead of landlord’s visit (theonion.com)
submitted 1 month ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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Carpet scrubbed of battery acid, antifreeze stains

As he hastily hung a framed picture over some unsightly bullet holes in the wall, local man Clyde Walker told reporters Monday that he was straightening up his meth lab ahead of an anticipated visit from his landlord. “Just doing a bit of cleaning to get the meth kitchen spick-and-span before Gary comes by,” Walker said as he took out a trash bag full of empty Sudafed boxes and plastic tubes, explaining that his landlord was a real stickler about shards of glass from shattered beakers littering the floor. [...]

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[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I knew a meth head who had 24 hours to clean up his shithole of a house or he would be evicted, took him and 4 other meth heads 6 hours to do a complete inspection ready deep clean, the landlord was fucking pissed because he couldn't evict him.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They get shit done, I'll give them that.

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 11 points 1 month ago

Yeah, you give them a goal and a whole bunch of meth and they will have it done in no time, it's why they make great builders.