this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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Although I didn't fully understand it at the time, the reason I was so clumsy at the hookup scene, is because I was always thinking more long-term. As it turned out, I was much more comfortable in relationships, of doing fun stuff like reverse dates: have sex with my partner, then go out to dinner and/or drinks with her.
Then we realized a funny thing: when we are both relaxed, we notice nearly everyone else around us was tense about the same thing, hunting and preening, and there we were, smiling knowingly at each other, having just fucked each other's brains out, enjoying a drink with zero stress in the mind and body.
People on the hookup scene have it the wrong way around.
If they only knew the pleasure of going out having already done the deed. Daily intimacy has this and many other perks.
Not everyone is you, and you’re not them. What they enjoy is not what you enjoy, and that’s fine